Balls Deep

Don't bro me if you don't know me.

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

I've never actually made it to the end of a porn. What happens? Do they cuddle?

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

You know your Twitter career was a success when your daughter finds and sends you screenshots of your old tweets with the 💀emoji

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

Gen Z:Ankle socks are cancelled
Me:*looks down* What? Why?
Gen Z:Because they are ugly, bruh
Me: But
Gen Z:That ain��t drip…that’s cringe, no cap
Me:I’m not even wearing a hat
Gen Z:You think you ate, but that’s hella basic
Me:Fuck you bitch!
Gen Z:I’m no dog…I identify as a cat

[Barstar @Elynnbarstar]

I wonder if he noticed I moved in.

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@kelly__le I run a freelance clinic, but I only accept walk-ins from November-February

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@kelly__le Aside from a proctologist on May 6th…I’d agree

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@Jay_FrickinLynn @SabotagedSmoke Not as classy as spaghetti and it’s day 3 of Aunt Flow visiting….

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

Unless your pussy looks like Mr. Bigglesworth I ain’t fucking with it.

[Oh Poca @1KelliBelle]

Living for an entire lifetime sounds fucking exhausting

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

You know you made it when you see one of your tweets on a random Tinder bio

[Oh Poca @1KelliBelle]

Who needs to buy groceries when you can eat my ass?

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

I thought for sure Twitter would shut down years ago. I just thought it would shut down because of our bad behavior….not because of some pussy named Elon

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

If Twitter does implode, 1. It will be far less impressive when it’s found in a cave somewhere in 2,000 years 2. We should all be embarrassed by what they do find and 3. Fuck @elonmusk

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@Ivsy01 Need me to heat your seat?

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

*accidentally posts “looking for used tranny” on Tinder profile*

*gets message from Anastasia*

Me:Shit!

*deletes and posts to Craigslist*

*gets message from Fantasia*

Me:You have GOT to be kidding me!!

*tries to move out of California, but my transmission still isn’t fixed*

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@koviebiakolo Cancel @koviebiakolo

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@koviebiakolo I feel that since it was on national TV I don’t have to do a f#@king thing you tell me to do ����

Kindly shut the f#@k up

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@_salt_n_lime Nope

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

19 years ago, all our lives changed

9 years 8 months and 21 days later, SEAL team 6 put a bullet in that motherfucker's head

#NeverForget

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

What she said: I'm pretty chill and don’t do clingy.

What I heard: I just ordered a deer stand and binoculars on Amazon Prime.

[Balls Deep @ThRealBallsDeep]

@Mystical441 Samesies