Austin.✌🏼

21. chronically homosexual. optimistic cynic. infrequent Twitter user. I act like I'm cute even though I'm not. 😗

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

@realDonaldTrump Just like you didn't cheat on your wife with a pornstar, or collude with Russia, or like you didn't know Papadopoulos? Just shut your lying mouth you two-bit conman.

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

@realDonaldTrump and @MooreSenate failed this test

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

I'm just a man, standing in front of a man, asking him to understand that he's not entitled to the body of a girl he likes just because he was nice to her.

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

Got my new toy out of layaway today! I'm in love. #HP #ChromeBook

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

Eric: "It was so cute the way you were cuddling me this morning."
Me: "I was half asleep. I would have cuddled a fire hydrant."

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

Is it just me, or does @PressSec always look slightly confused/constipated?

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

@GordonRamsay rate my Cajun chicken fresca please? 😁😁😁

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

Here's a nifty fact: when a customer service worker isn't at the counter, the proper way to get their attention is NOT to bang on the counter loudly and repeatedly until they approach you #TheMoreYouKnow #FoodServiceProblems

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

Why is it that getting up for work at 9am is harder than getting up for work at 6am?

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

@MonsterChelsko @ladygaga My talents include screaming YASSS QUEEN SLAY whenever Gaga does anything lol

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

So does anyone else sometimes let out a primal war cry when they yawn or is it just me?

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

Time cast a spell on you
That you won't forget me ♥️

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

#ToWongFoo 😍😍😍

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

The correct ratio of @CoolWhip to #pie

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

I found my ex's hat #Ex #YeahSweetieIMeanYou #SorryNotSorry

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

Got some new CDs today! ❤ #Rumours #TheDance #StevieNicks #FleetwoodMac

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

I need like 27 of these 😍😍😍😍 https://t.co/mm3ZiEgqDJ

[Stumbler Top @StumblerTop]

how i'm tryna be with bae

[Austin.✌🏼 @ThatGayBrownGuy]

#WhitePeopleBeLike https://t.co/QzEnt9t8z9

[𝒞𝓁𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒢𝒶𝓎 𝒢𝓊𝓎 @CGGuy44]

it's that time of the year again