Calvin Chan

Nonprofit Fundraiser. No-Profit Comedian. L.A. Cowboy. Guide to and through philanthropy. These views are my own. They could be yours too.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Much respect to those who are Great Parents AND Great Partners.
I'm almost 40, Single, No kids. My time on Stage is the most I wanna be responsible for anyone else's happiness.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Whoa... Average cost of Childcare is $20k/yr... while the average cost of a Horse is $10k?!!

So you're saying I can have TWO Horsies?!! 🤔

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Went Speed Dating last week. Which is a great alternative if you Hate dating apps... And haven't gotten closure on hating dating.
It's like not being sure if you wanna die, then signing up for a firing squad.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

I'm Chinese. I identify as Cowboy. I respond to both Ni Hao and Howdy.

My parents call me Wei-Gain. My American friends call me Calvin. My southern friends call me Clint Far Eastwood or Bruce Yee Haw.

I put the Yellow in Yellowstone. 🤠

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

I'm drawing the line at Dad jokes. That's gonna be my hill. Don't care if I don't have kids yet. I'm gonna put that cart before the Horse.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

I'm tired of being discriminated against as a Single, Childless guy.
Married people with kids get tax breaks. It's easier to qualify for a mortgage. And they say you can't call yourself a parent unless you have Human kids.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Or solving Hangryness without a Snickers.

Addressing Homelessness with Shelters is like Addressing Male Pattern Baldness with Combovers.
Both only Temporary Solutions, a Bad Look for Everybody, and doesn't address the Root of the Problem.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

At least once a week, I get cornered into a convo about how to End Homelessness, and the other party refuses to accept providing Housing or a Living Income as a solution.
Which is like going to a Firefighters conference and being afraid to talk about Water....

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Avengers:Endgame debuted just over 5 years ago, 2019. No coincidence that was the PEAK of superhero movies...When we still believed the world would come together if there was Armageddon. And a team led by a Billionaire would save us.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

You might as well give it away to make more friends. Give those avocados purpose. Let them live their truth. They were meant to be Guac, spread on Toast, and dynamite for boomers.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

I don't get the Rich. A Billionaire is like a Single Dude, with 2 friends, and 2 bundles of Ripe avocados. You're not gonna enjoy it all before it's too late!

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

It's important to me to be a Good Son, a Good Asian, and a Good Man. The first two are up to my family. The last is up to my Therapist. #AAPIHeritageMonth #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Kinda like going to the Strip Club. Depression & Loneliness are why we're here. She brings you to a private room..Dances her sexy finger Right in front of your face, giving your Nose blue balls.
Hey! If you're gonna get that close, you gonna Boop me or what? #HopingForBooping

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing/EMDR Therapy is what FINALLY worked for me! Therapist had me retell old trauma while my eyes followed her finger Left to Right, Right to Left, to resolve stress in different parts of the brain.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Mental Health Awareness and AAPI Heritage in the same month. The group least likely to address Mental Health. Subtle. Passive Aggressive. On Brand.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Yaasss! Fun uncle coming for the kids lunch money

[philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_]

Dave & Buster's will begin allowing customers to bet on arcade games

“Customers can soon make a friendly $5 wager on a Hot Shots basketball game, a bet on a Skee-Ball competition or on another arcade game.”

https://t.co/lmqLaXN5QU

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

Don’t you get Lonely? Nope, Rarely! Ignorance is Bliss. Being Happily Single is like Being Obliviously Messy. I’ll enjoy this PB&J, TY. No need to point out the Jelly on my Pants.

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

I took 8 day vacations last year 4x, but my married with children friends tell me life doesn't start till you have kids. 🤔

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

@KristieHang Have they heard of what Sawtelle is called?

[Calvin Chan @ThatGuyCalvin]

@DJVEGAS3 @CommerceCasino @jaredgriener Nicely run series @DJVEGAS3 ! Love the mixed games .