Tommy H.

Philanthropist, missionary, father.

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

JUST TESTED NEW NARCAN FORMULA ON RFK

[Adam Silver's Malignant Pancreas Tumor @MailmanStalker]

I want 10 million illegal immigrants drunk driving on the street by midnight

[Portugoatnacho#Messibdor @EmilioPorteqzq]

SHARIA LAW EVERYWHERE

MANDATORY SEX CHANGE FOR MINORS

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS GET DOUBLE PAY

[Blame Canada @cind3rella1213]

@WhiteHouse

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

We’re moving Ben Shapiro into a tent city

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

They replaced all the coffee mugs at work with diva cups

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

People don’t splash cold water on their face after their reflection starts talking evil in the mirror anymore. Just TikTok and phones.

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

The year is 2038

I failed to enable 2 factor authentication for my American Spirit cigarette rewards account

I go to prison when hackers use my information to implicate me in a murder with SORA video generation

I have been “trolled”

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

Publix does a special where you can get anything you want for 6.99 as long as it fits inside the 16oz soup cup

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

Germans see the name “Carlos” and they’re like “yeah that’s what it’s for”

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

They overfill Gatorades so it spills a little when you open it and then you have to lick the outside of the bottles and get PFAs + BPA in your lungs and balls/vagina

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

throwin fent quarters in the aldi parking lot

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

DANA "DING DONG" PERINO (NEVER HEARD OF HER UNTIL TODAY!) IS MELTING DOWN BECAUSE OF ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM! FOX HATES THAT I AM AMERICA’S MOST FAVORITE GOVERNOR ("RATINGS KING") SAVING AMERICA — WHILE TRUMP CAN’T EVEN CONQUER THE “BIG” STAIRS ON AIR FORCE ONE ANYMORE!!! TRUMP HAS “LOST HIS STEP” AND FOX IS LOSING IT BECAUSE WHEN I TYPE, AMERICA NOW WINS!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. — GCN

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

Was mean t to be doing Einstein shit but phones and aspartame chemically castrated my brain and made me tarded

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

Hit a hat trick today (diet coke, diet dp, diet mtn dew)

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

Me after going a whole day without spending between ~12 and 20 dollars on shit

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

lookin at shooting stars turns out whole time they was far away lightning bugs

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

bubblegum toothpaste a stud the way it make me wanna swallow

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

Wearing a shirt with stripes got me like “hell yeah” bc I can get so many stains on it before people are able to notice

[Tommy H. @ThatGuyTomH01]

This what it felt like being 11 y/o in the pantry eatin straight splenda