Michael LaVoice

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

I beleive him

[Jesse James Fain @JesseJamesBooks]

I need to tell everyone, in advance, that the events that have transpired are 100% NOT my fault.

[Bexxy @Bexxy__19]

UPDATE ON GERALD AND THE CROW SITUATION:

Things have escalated.

I repeat.

THINGS HAVE FUCKING ESCALATED.

For those of you just joining us, yesterday I accidentally entered into diplomatic relations with a gang of crows after Gerald stole my good spoon.

Well.

This morning I walked outside and Gerald was waiting for me.

Alone.

Standing directly in the middle of my driveway.

No screaming.

No hopping around.

Just staring at me like a tiny feathered loan shark who had come to collect.

I said, “Morning, Gerald.”

He tilted his head.

I gave him a walnut.

He did not eat it.

Instead, this motherfucker picked it up, walked three steps to the left, PUT IT DOWN, and stared at me again.

Message received.

The offering was insufficient.

So I went back inside and got more walnuts.

When I returned…

THERE WERE NINE CROWS.

Nine.

Yesterday there were seven.

Gerald is fucking recruiting.

And they were arranged in a SEMICIRCLE.

This isn’t a bird friendship anymore.

I’m funding organized crime.

I distributed the walnuts because apparently I pay protection money now.

Everything seemed fine until one of the smaller crows tried taking two.

Gerald immediately screamed at him.

The little one dropped the second walnut.

I have accidentally created an economy.

Gerald controls distribution.

There’s a hierarchy.

There are consequences.

I’m pretty sure I witnessed a disciplinary hearing before breakfast.

Then Gerald flew away.

I thought we were done.

WE WERE NOT DONE.

Twenty minutes later I looked outside and there was something sitting where Gerald had been standing.

A bottle cap.

A shiny rock.

And…

MY FUCKING SPOON.

HE RETURNED THE SPOON.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I believe we have successfully negotiated a trade agreement.

Unfortunately, there is now a crow sitting on my mailbox.

So I still cannot get my fucking mail.

I tried approaching.

He puffed up.

I backed away.

That mailbox belongs to the organization now.

At this point I’m just a tenant.

Anyway, Gerald has officially been promoted to General Gerald, Commander of the Driveway, First of His Name, Keeper of the Good Spoon, Lord of the Power Line, Collector of Walnuts, and Regional Manager of Whatever The Fuck Is Happening Here.

I’ll keep everyone updated.

But if I suddenly stop posting…

Gerald found out I told you.

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@dagney_kavanagh @monsterhunter45 I love how you added "showering." LOL

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@DavidBadurina More response than I would have given that stank muffin.

[William S. Frisbee Jr @TheWarcat]

They told Marine Jason Drake his sister was dead.

No body. No proof. No rescue.

Now he’s UA, hunted by his own government and heading into a lawless warzone to find her himself.

Sister, Sister is out now.

Launch price: $2.99 for the first week.

https://t.co/zlm6dts3J5

#MilitaryThriller #MilitarySciFi #RescueMission #NewBookRelease

[William S. Frisbee Jr @TheWarcat]

They told Marine Jason Drake his sister was dead.

No body. No proof. No rescue.

Now he’s UA, hunted by his own government and heading into a lawless warzone to find her himself.

Sister, Sister is out now.

Launch price: $2.99 for the first week.

https://t.co/zlm6dts3J5

#MilitaryThriller #MilitarySciFi #RescueMission #NewBookRelease

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@DavidBadurina I don't have an AI friend to use but I did my best. Tweaked the pronoun references in the original prompt to male, and went with slicked back hair in the 40's noir style. Kept the nails though cuz they're goth and cool.

[David Badurina - XXXII @DavidBadurina]

Kickstarter dropping in about two weeks friends. Digital access cards, novella + vinyls (special edition double-album and more), lore book, liner notes + commentary, CD digipacks, trading cards, posters, all the things!

She’s almost ready … 👇🔗

[David Badurina - XXXII @DavidBadurina]

Book Friends! My latest anthology in partnership with @raconteur_press is out! "Pet Monsters!" (ie: Mom, can I keep it!?) - This one is a great ride inspired by stories like Iron Giant and Big Hero 6.

Pick up a copy, especially if you've got a younger reader in the home!

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@bkgibsonwrites Way to go man!

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

Check this out from my pal BK Gibson!!

[BKGibson @bkgibsonwrites]

We are LIVE! Freedom's Vow, released both in ebook (KU too) and physical copy. Check it out today!

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@DavidBadurina WHAT A DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN!

[Malory @Maloryauthor]

https://t.co/ZYg3FjCXIm

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@Maloryauthor For further reading on the subject you could check out Dr Leonard Sax, and his book, Boys Adrift, where he discusses about 50 years worth of educational trends where boys have been treated like defective girls.

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@DavidBadurina @AethrMusik Happy annual trip around the sun completion day!!

[David Badurina - XXXII @DavidBadurina]

Storyteller friends! My buddy Jesse is doing something AWESOME with this launch.

The Midnight Sea universe is epic. If you're looking to dive into a great world, while supporting one hell of an indie author (wonderful human!), I can't recommend supporting Jesse enough!

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

Everyone needs to check this Kickstarter out today!

[Jesse James Fain @JesseJamesBooks]

This one means a lot. Outside of my writing, I don't know Kentucky from anything but here, but this man supports author and creators constantly, amd If I can be on the shelf with Galaxy's Edge, I have done something right.

[David Badurina - XXXII @DavidBadurina]

Bookworm friends! My newest anthology in partnership with @raconteur_press is here! These were incredible stories. If you like Stranger Things, Explorers, Goonies, Jumanji, etc. - This is the collection that just crash landed in your TBR. Great authors, Great adventures!

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@HermanPHunter1 Hmmmm....THIS didn't age well. Do we consider her an accomplice now?

[Michael LaVoice @ThatMichaelLaV]

@BarrieEditor1 Condolences. He was an absolute Legend.