Merry Andrew

99.9% sure I should be asleep | Former Dean’s List student who consistently pushes on pull doors

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

A slice of pepperoni pizza that’s laying face down on the sidewalk is calling to me like the Green Goblin mask calls to Willem Dafoe in the Sam Rami Spider-Man movie.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Never ask a woman her age

A man, his salary

A Dungeon Master, the name of an NPC that the party just met

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

THE CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED BROTHERS!!!

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

My endless cycle of pain continues

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

The chick who tapped out after 13 reasons was weak AF, I’m out here hitting triple digits and I ain’t going nowhere.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

BRB, joining a Bionicle fan group on Facebook and messaging “Hey” to all the bad bitches who are already a part of it.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

“Chopped” Salad? I don’t know, I think it looks pretty good.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

It’s a well know fact that all girls who vibe with snoopy-core are angels sent from heaven and all girls who vibe with hello kitty-core clawed their way up from the deepest pit of hell.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Call me the plot the way I’m thiccening

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Y’all ever get excited because you think fine shyt is texting you, but it’s just a political organization talking about “Congressman Wesley Hunt is a native Texan, MAGA Republican, and the FIRST Texas politician to endorse President Trump. Learn more: https://t.co/5PjE23jpKT”?

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Shawty’s so bad she got me busting out the SAT words to describe her. She’s got me texting her shit like, “You look resplendent!”

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Anyone do embroidery? Looking to commission a “peg the cook” apron.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Who up goofing their goober?

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Love going to the gym in my sleeper build (fuzzy pajamas) and casually putting everyone else on the treadmills to shame.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

“Inflation is horrible because of the insane price of houses!” and “Inflation is horrible because of the insane price of cars!” Bro, inflation is horrible because mac and cheese used to be $1 a box and now it’s $1.24 a box.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Are there tough parts about being an adult? Sure, but the wicked cool parts of being an adult don’t get talked about enough. Like no one talks about how you can have pizza for dinner two nights in a row. No one is stopping you!

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

First base is when a girl trauma dumps to you

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

Elon Musk is considering buying Hasbro to secure the rights to D&D

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Hoping from job to job in my early adulthood may have set me back a few years back on retirement planning, but how many 27 year olds can say they’ve been a teacher, a professional stilt walker, a truck driver, & an animal care specialist? I truly am a multifaceted human being.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

“Sex work”?

Uh yeah, I sure hope it does.

[Merry Andrew @TheActingActon]

Me after I realize I can make attending my cousin’s kid’s little league games vastly more enjoyable by starting a sports betting ring and hustling parents