Shard Management

PARODY ACCOUNT: Elite talent agency. Our actors are ready for your castings! Also available to staff coffee shops. Follow us for instant representation!

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

As it’s quiet, let’s look at some messages!

@PerjurdClarence asks: Why do agents sometimes say I have an #audition, and other times say #casting?

Great question, Clarence. “Audition” means we think you’re in with a shot. “Casting” means you haven’t a snowball’s chance in hell.

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@sydneyamee Who gives a f***.

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

Break out the merlot: WE’RE BACK FROM FURLOUGH!

We’re THRILLED to hear the industry is picking up, thanks to the efforts of our #LeadAgent.

There’s only so many times a #CastingDirector can hear Wendy Yew-Stahtkasting on their phone before their breakdowns start flowing again!

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

And we all say:
🎵”Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever
A tape so clever
From Musical Meisner Maestro, #BradTone?”🎵

Lovely work, Brad! Uzbekistan International Cruises would be lucky to have you.

We’ll send the VHS off to Tashkent. Third Class postage. Should arrive by May! 🤞

[Lawrence Russell @lawrencerussell]

Brad doesn’t really get musicals, but he’s all about trying something new.

#actorslife #auditiontape #selftape #casting #cdg #bafta #screenactor #tvactor #musicals #catsthemusical #sketchcomedy #audition @TheActorsAgent

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

When a Musical Theatre client tells you they have a temperature.

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@deablosantos Don’t you dare change that typo. We’re gonna give it a try. #Hovering #FreddieMercury #ItWasAcceptableInTheEighties

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@AlisonHarrisUK @iamfinlay Excellent advice, @AlisonHarrisUK!

We all like to see a character with a strong foundation but the gloss should always come from within.

#Actors: show us the #XFactor, not the #MaxFactor.

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@RobKirtleyActor @lawrencerussell Thanks @RobKirtleyActor! We’re so proud of #BradTone. A genuine monolith of an actor and we’re lucky to have him as a client.

@lawrencerussell This speech might have a “90s feel” but we think the delivery is #timeless.

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@lawrencerussell WONDERFUL work as ever, Brad!

While we’re here, Anton Deck sounds like he’s our kind of guy. Is he currently represented? #SignHere

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

With #CastingDirectors waiting for you to send in a #SelfTape, you’re probably asking yourself: “What kind of tone should I set?”

How about #BradTone?

Fantastic work again Brad. You put the “mono” in “monologue”! #CastingCrushesCorona

[Lawrence Russell @lawrencerussell]

Brad’s one-man monologues just keep coming. This one has a #90s feel. #monologue #selftape #auditiontape #casting #cdg #screenactor #screenactorsguild #tvactor #actorslife #sketchcomedy #castingcrushescarona #screenactor

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

WOW! #CastingCrushesCorona is a TRIUMPH!

#CastingDirectors haven’t just been asking for #SelfTapes. Somehow, there are FOUR #CastingBreakdowns in our inbox this morning. FOUR!!!

The entire #ShardManagement team are being summoned to deal with this deluge. #LightTheBeacons

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@lawrencerussell #BradTone will always be our inspiration. And we’re so pleased he always records his tapes on Scotch. No finer brand of #VHS out there!

When will people learn it’s called a #SelfTAPE for a reason? These new-fangled DVDs will never catch on. #ItWasAcceptableInTheEighties

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

Wendy told us on Friday: “We’ve had an office for 35 Years and I refuse to #WorkFromHome now.”

So: may we present our temporary #OfficeSpace!

Please address any post to:

#ShardManagement
c/o: Wendy Yew-Stattkasting,
Diva Manor,
Artistick Drive,
Knightsbridge, London,
SW1X 7XL

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

The #SelfTape has become such a lifeline in the epic battle of #CastingCrushesCorona, but remember: it’s important you get a nice, clean take.

And our client #BradTone is back to show you how it’s done! #TheManTheMythTheLegend

[Lawrence Russell @lawrencerussell]

Brad is back with another one man monologues. Ready to #StayAtHome if that’s what #castingdirectors want. L#selftape #auditiontape #actorslife #selfisolation #ukactor #tvactor #casting #cdg #CastingCrushesCorona #screenactor #sketchcomedy #comedycrushescarona @TheActorsAgent

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@sydneyamee @VAULTFestival We don’t know who deserved to win the seven #ShowOfTheWeek awards, but we know who’s won the title “Queen Of The @VAULTFestival”. #YourMajesty

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

#CASTINGANNOUNCEMENT: The #coronavirus hasn’t stopped Lou Roland Pastor from being snapped up!

Lou will be playing Panic Buyer Number 4 in #Andrex’s public awareness campaign, “#Stockpiling: U Round The Bend?”.

On paper it’s pretty bog standard, but our Lou’s properly flushed!

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@samjenkinsshaw On repeat. For ever.

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

@m4mirry @SophHollandCast @sydneyamee @AnneliePowell Isn’t he a natural?

We hope he sanitised those hands for the ident though. #CantBeTooCareful

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

Following the sensational offers from @SophHollandCast, @sydneyamee and @AnneliePowell, the #SelfTape has become an even more powerful tool than ever before!

And we’re delighted that our client #BradTone has risen to the challenge. What a pro. #CastingCrushesCorona

[Lawrence Russell @lawrencerussell]

Brad Tone is well versed in the art of #selftape although there’s no submissions right now he’s thinking outside the #casting box. #actorslife #auditiontape #selftape #tvactor #davidtennant #doctorwho #monologue #cdg #Spotlight #ukactor #screenactor #comedy #sketchcomedy

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

The #CoronavirusOutbreak has resulted in an absolute dearth of #CastingBreakdowns and a lack of work for #actors.

Fortunately, as a #TalentAgent, we’re not as financially affected as we feared!

Most of our clients were being paid in exposure, rather than actual money. #Relief

[Shard Management @TheActorsAgent]

What a fantastic opportunity from #CastingDirector @sydneyamee!

This incredibly thoughtful and free system will give #actors who are #NewGrads a chance to be seen in lieu of their cancelled #showcase.

Secretly steal the best new talent AND look altruistic doing it? Count us in!

[Sydney Aldridge @sydneyamee]

⭐️SHOWCASE SELF TAPES⭐️ (Free opportunity)
Lots of graduates won't get a showcase this year. I have got together some Agents and Casting Directors to watch self tapes. Details in the flyer attached.
(Only open to graduates at this time)
Participants in the tweet below:
PLEASE RT