The Awkward Tweet

[Shelby @shelbybrookes]

OMG hahaha expectation vs reality 😭 ask for some nice autumnal tortoise shell nails and leave with bright orange boils. Of course too scared to say anything so pay the full amount and walk out smiling but crying inside #nailart

[The Awkward Tweet @TheAwkwardTweet]

@lastminute_com please tell me why I’m still waiting for a refund for flights in March when in July you said it would be two weeks?!

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When your alarm goes off and you have to go to work because you didn't die in your sleep

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'Jeans and a nice top' but you can never find that nice top

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It's 420 eve, remember to leave out milk and cookies for snoop dogg

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Theresa May today live from Downing Street #GeneralElection

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It's weird to think people who are 5ft are only 5 subways long

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Boys in flannel 😍

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I can't wait for natural selection to take out slow walkers

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Every British person when the suns been out for longer than 45 minutes

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Me drunk telling my life story even though no one asked

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Under capitalism, we are all the April Fool

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Just checked my balance... this better be an April fools

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When you stop chasing your tail and start chasing your dreams

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You won't be mad at me for being late if you stop thinking I'm going to be on time

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Me: that's it no more junk I'm going on a diet

Also me five mins later:

[The Awkward Tweet @TheAwkwardTweet]

I fully support this policy

[The Awkward Tweet @TheAwkwardTweet]

I've been going to the gym for five months and all I've lost is £230

[The Awkward Tweet @TheAwkwardTweet]

2016: WIll Griggs on fire

the whole of the uk: your defence is terrified

[The Awkward Tweet @TheAwkwardTweet]

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be." I think people are starting to take it as a challenge.