Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten

Suffering New Yorker | Cool Mint Zyn Enthusiast | Tit Muncher | Venture Capitalist | Benson Boone | Wii Sports Resort Three Point Contest Superstar | #DiveIn

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Matt Damon it’s time to answer your DMs. You have questions and I have answers buddy #badwillhunting

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

LETS GO KNICKS

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

I just farted so loud my dog hit his head on the ceiling fan

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Knicks finals appearance means that a Mike Breen triple bang is 100% in the cards

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Let me make this clear- no one beats the Mets for their 13th consecutive loss. NO ONE.

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Lewbert from icarly #letmelickit

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

First day at my new job of guarding this dead guy’s tomb. Easiest job ever lol where the fuck is “Jesus” gonna go

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

How am I supposed to act normal at Easter brunch when I lost the entire house on continuous Arizona spread live bets last night

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Drinking twelve vodka la croixs at Easter brunch and hitting on my cousin that isn’t technically blood-related to us since we found out Aunt Lorraine was adopted

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

I asked for extra sour cream and instead of adding any to my bowl, the worker caressed my cheek and said “babygirl you’re more beautiful than a Moroccan sunrise” I want my money back @ChipotleTweets

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

On the way to my parole hearing. Took an everything shower beforehand #justincase

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

I’m not allowed back at the beach. Apparently it’s #notcool to pretend to drown then kiss the lifeguard even though he’s not doing CPR on you

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

There is nothing stopping you from commenting conversation starters on every single one of your ex’s venmo transactions from the past three years

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Show me where it says it’s illegal to kill people if you’re wearing a funky propeller hat. That’s right. You Can’t

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

I just let out a dookie with so much force my phone automatically called emergency services. Merry Christmas to my loyal followers

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Mr. Peabody and Sherman be fuckinnnnnn

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Someone shit my pants again

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Broke the mayor mccheese glass. my life is over

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Gonna start abbreviating the star spangled banner to the SSB. Who the fuck is gonna stop me. I’m off the rails buddy I’ll do anything you tell me to if you hand me a $20 bill after

[Fred “The Big Gruff” Tungsten @TheBigGruff]

Who the fuck thought of the name chloe. Stupid ass fuck ass name