Big Hungry

Amateur Gynocologyst, Professional Asshole.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Funniest moment tonight was when I heard a black guy call an Arab a sand nigger, was classic!

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Was going to do some yard work today but then porn.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

I like Facebook to see all the people from high school getting fat. I love twitter because I can talk shit about them behind their back.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Its refreshing to know I can eat Subway and smoke weed and maybe win a medal......God Bless the USA!

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Is it weird that I crave chocolate and anal sex with a midget right when I wake up?

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

True fact: If you hold a hookers vagina up to your ear you can hear your wallet getting thinner.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Snorting cocaine off hookers breasts is nice, snorting it off one with Parkinsons is much more challenging.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Asked my boss about my raise, he said he had no clue, I told him soon it would be him in the office with the stapler if he didn't find out.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

The officer didn't quite understand that Mr Jack Daniels in the passenger seat is a reason to drive in the carpool lane, his seatbelt was on

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

I asked the priest at church for seconds on the wine cause I was starting to lose my vodka buzz.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

@HoGoLightly wasn't the long nose, its where he put it.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

@HoGoLightly good with the exception of getting hit on by a dolphin, and I don't mean that metaphorically.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

@HoGoLightly going somewhere other than the place your at and spending tons of money to forget that you work your ass off to take vacation.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Back from vacation and I already would rather slit my wrists than go back to work.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

I love getting drunk before work, it makes the day more interesting.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

When I have to mail a bill I make sure to to stuff a few pubic hairs in the envelope for good measure.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

There's something about a good wank when nobody is home and you can take your time.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

I think I left my "I give a fuck" face on my pillow today because I just scared the people at work.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

Taco Tuesday is more than just tacos, it's a metaphor for how I spend the day.

[Big Hungry @TheBigHungry]

They say a penny saved is a penny earned bit whoever said that didn't get back what I did on my tax return, damn government!