jobes

This message lasts two minutes | he/his | Chicago

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

There are 2 types of people:

1. I had to go through it so you have to

2. I had to go through it and I’ll do what I can to make sure you never have to experience that as well

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Julianne: “Amber, touching story about your eating disorder 😔, but you know what’s making me hungry? PASHA BEING SEXIEST MAN!” #DWTS

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Catherine O’Hara…Tim Curry…both acted in Home Alone 2, but not the one many hope and pray for…

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Disrespectfully, you need to be less online.

[Meghan McCain @MeghanMcCain]

Respectfully, she needs to be less online.

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Chicago bitches will be like let’s go to the beach and then take you here 🙄

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Looks like he’s with Vivian from Legally Blonde.

[ABC 7 Chicago @ABC7Chicago]

U.S Rep. Max Miller denied abusing his former wife and his daughter. https://t.co/9vpjJ7fxYZ

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

The ‘LA LA LAND’ poster has been officially updated to fix Ryan Gosling's hand.

This new version will be the film’s official poster going forward.

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Not the point, but a Senator tweeting like they’re using T9 in 2007 is so fucking funny like

[Chuck Grassley @ChuckGrassley]

I told Scty Lutnick at lunch yesterday to tell Pres Trump THANK U for suspending Moroccan phosphate duties It's a big help 2 farmers Mosiac has 85% of the phopshate market & there shouldnt hv been duties on in the 1st place

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

And none are selected 🥰

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Girl you and yours better sit the fuck out of this one 😂

[Republicans @Republicans]

Every Democrat that endorsed Graham Platner endorsed a rapist.

[Pander 🇵🇸 @PanderShirts]

I’m sorry, Mitch McConnell can’t come to the phone right now.
Why? Oh, because he’s dead.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

The Obama presidential library really is stunning.

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

“And I’m not your ‘brother’ you fuckin’ pussy.” are quite the words to say angrily in the bathroom line at a showing of Kinky Boots lol

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Checking some of my bookmarks:

[White House Press Office @PressSec]

This story is 100% Fake News, and the White House repeatedly told this to CNN in the strongest possible terms. Yet they still wrote the story because their ratings are dying so they thrive off drama that does not exist.

The truth is: President Trump could not be happier with his Cabinet.

Shame on you, @CNN.

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Susie Wiles every time he tweets:

[Carter Rodriguez @Carter_Shade]

Don that was nuts

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

They’re calling him “No-Print Rubio” 😕

[Steven Cheung @StevenCheung47]

Secretary Rubio rocking the Nike Tech ‘Venezuela’ on Air Force One! 😂

[Saturday Night Live @nbcsnl]

a scene from the crumbling marriage of two auctioneers

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

should have gone to someone younger

[Sam Alberti 🪏 @sam_alberti]

who thought it would be a good visual to show a literal grandmother who still has to do gig-labor to pay for her husband’s cancer treatment

[jobes @TheBookOfJobes]

Riley writing this like

[Riley Gaines @Riley_Gaines_]

I love the President and I'm so grateful he's in the Oval Office. Of course, I'll continue to support him and the America First agenda.

At the end of the day, I do nothing for the approval of man. Our purpose on this earth is to glorify Him in all we do. The truth social post missed the mark. It's now deleted. Amazing!

We're imperfect people. I know I am. I don't get my feelings hurt easy and I know with the President it's really not personal. I want to spend eternity in a real place called Heaven. I'd love for Trump to be there too.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. I'll keep doing my part by speaking truth & doing my best to lead others to Christ.

(and no, I won't be selling merch with his insults on them hahaha)