The Campaign

We are the first openly evil presidential candidates.

Evil is the last great marginalized demographic, and it's time to come out of the closet. #VoteEvil2020

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

What does it mean to be openly evil presidential candidates?

Everything will be amazing. Things will happen. Actions will be taken. America. Will. Occur.

And by that we mean we’ll turn the country into a nightmarish fiery hellscape wasteland.

#VoteEvil2020 #TheCampaign

[Cody Zervas @CodyZervas]

Here's the trailer for a TV pilot I've been working on for 3 years:

https://t.co/gO1PiM305Q

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

@PaulSkallas Not in quite the same way, no. But I'm not seeing how that makes it worse for women, or the worst time in history.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

@PaulSkallas But worse things have happened to large populations of women.

https://t.co/mQ0TD3hqKH

Trying to understand. Don't block.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

Now is the time, citizens. Do your duty.

Write us in as your nominees.

John Haverford on the Democrat ballot.
Bill Cavanaugh on the Republican ballot.

If we don't win, when we win we will have all of you sent to the mud farms.

#Election2020 #DemocraticPrimary

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

After we "explain ourselves" to people, they zip up their pants and say, “I… I’m never gong to be the same.”

And that’s how change happens: one heart and mind at a time.

#VoteEvil2020 #PresidentialElection #Politics #AmericaFirst

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

When we tell people all of this, without fail, they say, “YOU DIDN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?! WHY AM I ON YOUR LAP?!”

And we say right back, “You’re right, America is supposed to be about freedom, not evil. Good eye, champ!

Now unbutton our pants.”

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

Remember, a vote for us is a vote to catapult illegal immigrants back to Mexico.

#VoteEvil2020 #PresidentialElection #Politics #AmericaFirst

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

America is the land of opportunity.

Nowhere else on Earth can you find a place that is so amenable to the aspirations of two young tyrants just starting out.

Nowhere else will you find a place that embraces – nay – loves evil so much.

#VoteEvil2020 #PresidentialElection

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

When we tell people about our lofty dreams, they always ask us: “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! DON’T YOU KNOW THERE ARE REAL HUMAN LIVES AT STAKE?!” And to that we smile, have them hop up on our laps, and say, “Why America? We’re glad you asked.”

#VoteEvil2020 #PresidentialElection

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

All of this leads us to believe that America truly loves evil, which makes perfect sense because evil is awesome.

The forces of good would never make the death star. And the death star is awesome.

#VoteEvil2020 #PresidentialElection #Politics

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

We couldn’t ask for a more loving and supportive people.

We mean loving and supportive of evil, of course.

Not at all in the regular way.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

They line up for days to buy the latest iPhone, happily surrendering their privacy to a corporation whose logo is the very fruit with which Satan tricked mankind.

They refuse to believe in science, like inborn sex differences or climate change.

They watch the Big Bang Theory.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

The American people love evil more than their leaders. In some countries, the people are enslaved against their will. In others, where the dictators have been especially crafty, the people are enslaved without even knowing it.

In America, the people are enslaved and they love it

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

@princetidus_ @AlyraProduction Your humbling will be great.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

Throughout history, the tides of change have always been ushered in by the hard work of a handful of brave citizens. And behind those hard-working citizens there has always been a tyrannical monarch shouting orders. It’s time again for a great change to overtake this country.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

Phew! We almost thought for a second there a candidate that isn't owned by the establishment might have a chance!

At least we can always rely on 'Ol Faithful (our pet name for the politicocorporate hegemony).

#YangGang #YangGangForever

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

America seems to be founded on the principles of justice, equality, and freedom.

But look closer, and you’ll find that those principles are but a thin buttermilk frosting of deception spread over a thick chocolate cake of villainy and wickedness.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

@TheAnnaGat We get it. You're very sophisticated.

[The Campaign @TheCampaign666]

@kristina_basham Don't point out that she's not that good and the only reason this receives any acclaim or attention is because she's attractive or you'll be blocked.