Ruru

eyes on me

[𝙅𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙮𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙚 #TENOÍ🇪🇬 @Thinklikebutter]

Yo i aint know laufey was moving like this, i thought she just makes love songs😭😭😭

[Nara Indriyani @Naraindryni]

finally, i got it 🤣

[J. Jonah Jameson @JustthefactsJJ]

Time I address the elephant in the room…..There I was, trying to enjoy a Mets game like a normal American. And who shows up sitting behind me? THAT WALL-CRAWLING MENACE! And what is he doing? Save the city? OH NO!!! SITTING IN PREMIUM SEATS PROBABLY PAID FOR BY MY TAX DOLLARS!!!

[Leon Massey @LeonMassive]

Guy who designed fruit ninja still in it for the love of the game? maybe there's still whimsy in the world

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

sucks ass, should be a skull with knives behind it so the aliens know what the fuck is up

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"Hey, did you see this? Four days into January and we've got a contender for Worst Father of the Year."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, this guy wrote a whole long tweet about how he hates spending time with his kid."

"Ah. So is he a Goku bad dad or a Vegeta bad dad?"

"Uh, what's the difference?"

"It's simple. Goku is a negligent father because he's an oblivious, single-minded simpleton while Vegeta is a callous father because he's an overbearing, single-minded smug twat—"

"Uh.'

"—and knows it."

"More like Vegeta."

"Mhm."

"Like this guy knows he should enjoy spending time with his son—throwing the ball around, playing catch, that sort of thing—but he'd be rather at work 'accomplishing' something."

"Like becoming the strongest of all Saiyans. That's very Vegeta."

"He says his blood starts boiling if he has to spend more than 10 minutes a day watching his own kid."

"Wow, a whole ten minutes. That's heroic."

"Right? Like what kind of asshole—"

"I can barely last five."

"Say what?"

"I've made it clear to my wife that any time she leaves the room, she better start a damn timer—"

"You're serious."

"—because in three hundred seconds I'm gonna go Fainaru Ekusupurōjon on our cherished pride and joy."

"Final what?"

"It's the original Japanese name for the suicidal supernova blast technique Vegeta uses in episode 237 in a last-ditch effort to defeat Majin Buu."

"Now hold on."

"Naturally, it fails."

"Hold on, hold on. You're really gonna blow up on your own kid because you can't stand to be around him for longer than five freakin' minutes?"

"Down to the millisecond, yes."

"Then what's all this shit about Goku and Vegeta?"

"They're universal paternal archetypes."

"𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺."

"Really. All men are one or the other—callous or oblivious—but only great men are Vegeta dads. It's in our aristocratic blood."

"Yeah, I don't think Akira Toriyama was working towards a Grand Unified Theory of Fatherhood by putting forward a Reductionist Binary Model of Paternal Attachment when he made all the dads dicks in his weekly battle comic about fighting monkey men from space."

"First off, great artists are often unaware of the profound Truths encapsulated in their work."

"Again, fighting monkey men from space."

"Secondly, that's Piccolo erasure."

"Okay, fair. But I still can't believe you hate your kid that much man. Five minutes!"

"I don't hate him."

"That's brutal."

"I would eradicate a continent for him."

"See, every keyboard space marine says shit like that, but they never specify what continent, like—"

"Asia."

"Wow. You had that in the chamber."

"The annihilation of Asia removes our greatest geopolitical foes, forces America to reshore all manufacturing, ends the AI race, and saves the internet."

"At the cost of 4.7 𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 lives."

"I really like the internet."

"You know, a normal person would try to minimize the loss of human life and take out something like, I don't know, 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢?"

"And kill all of those innocent macaroni penguins?"

"Oh right, sorry, my bad. I forgot about the macaroni penguins."

"You sneer but a macaroni penguin never tried to trick my elderly mother into going down to Best Buy and converting her life savings into Apple Music gift cards."

"Okay, fair. So you'd literally wipe out 1/4th of the planet's population for your child, but you wouldn't harm a single golden feather on the head of a single macaroni penguin. I see how it is."

"I mean, obviously I'm wiping out the macaroni penguins if I gotta, man. That's my kid."

"This is all just illogical macho fantasy bullshit to justify limitless violence as the solution to all life's problems. Like when John Wick spends four movies massacring a stadium's worth of men over one lousy puppy."

"I mean, have you seen the first movie? It's a cute puppy."

"Even so—"

"He's totally justified."

"Okay, but you wouldn't watch a movie where John Wick has to suck off a hundred gorillas in a stadium to save said puppy."

"I would not watch a movie where John Wick blows a hundred gorillas in a stadium to save a puppy, no."

"And you wouldn't do it either."

"You got me. I would not blow or bottom for a hundred gorillas to save my child—"

"I rest my case.

"—but if I had to 𝘵𝘰𝘱 those gorillas."
---
[m][title: Dad Behavior]

[IzzyBn Art @IzzybnArt]

#dispatch animation! 🌟

[Ruru @TheCouchPot8o]

Lmao not chatgpt actually helping me troubleshoot what's wrong with the car

[2% | the happiest chaos @happiest_chaos]

i don't have a SECONDARY. i don't COUNTERPICK. i don't cover POOR MATCHUPS. i ONE-TRICK. and if i can't do it with my main, then i DON'T WIN.

[erika @yeeeerika]

the crushing weight of two very manageable tasks

[bbno$ 👶🚫💰 @bbnomula]

sup

[Elijah the Middleborne @TheMiddleborne]

🚨 CATEGORY 9 STICK ALERT 🚨

[The Scolipede @toxicspikes_]

😭😭😭

[RAKI`𖤐. @youthbatu]

ang layo

[mga pusa sa daan @mgapusasadaan]

posang may borat

[Ruru @TheCouchPot8o]

bro got banned on roblox sksksksk

[Coda @codaanim]

repo animation send tweet