David Abed

Social media expert, actor, content creator... and Michigan graduate. NTA Agency

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

David Abed at the Minions & Monsters premiere in Hollywood:)

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

@MattBelloni Any chance of covering the Nathan Fielder vs Paramount situation on the Town?

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Bits over text is my love language

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Not sure which is more disturbing: that the government is hiding aliens, or that my friends are competing for whose cold plunge tub reaches the coldest temperature.

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

It’s like, why is my house dirty again? I just cleaned it last month.

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

I’m glad WGA is on strike, because now when I continue to never write a script, instead of feeling like a lazy piece of a shit, I can feel like I’m supporting the Guild.

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Me: I’ve been watching The Sopranos again.

Mom: Oh, I hear that’s supposed to be pretty funny.

Me:

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

“A actually really liked “Wednesday” on Netflix. I watched season one and two.”
-Mom

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

My mom is coming to visit today:

Me: Hey mom, fyi it’s raining here.
Mom: You’ll provide all the son I need!

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Me to my mom: "I'm thinking of getting a standing desk."
Mom: "Oh, nice. You'll probably need to get a standing chair, too."
Me: "I think that would defeat the purpose of the standing part."

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

@SilverLakeNC Hi! Would you be able to answer a street sweeping question?

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Anyone else think unfiltered tap water is disgusting and would never drink it in a million years, while at the same time using it to make ice?

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

My mom talking about Kevin Hart’s "True Story."

Mom: Is Kevin Hart in jail? Did he kill someone?
Me: No. That's made up.
Mom: Oh, I dont want to watch it then.

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Favorite mom quote:
“I’m going to say one word - put yourself out there.”

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Guess it's time to finally start working today...at 1:30...

[Tommy Vietor @TVietor08]

Matt Gaetz has a STAGGERING amount of product in his hair, and it's the only thing more ridiculous than his attempt to blame today's terrorist attack on Antifa.

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

My dad just sent me an email which began "I am still your father" then proceeded to tell me about the dangers of chopping down a tree. #FatherlyLove

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Classic dad quote: “I know you and your sister don’t like my plan. The problem is, it’s a good plan.”

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

Today has to be the poopiest day of the year.

[David Abed @TheDaveAbed]

@TheRizzleApp Thanks for the love!