Chris Perez

Graphic designer. Illustrator. Freelance everything.

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Jeff Barfoot gots dem hearty nipples. #nssc11 #dsvc #amarillocollege

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Free InDesign Portfolio template with 2 color themes http://t.co/x1b0GAUGrE

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

@marcmaron Just finished the last podcast. Nice Daniel Lanois-esque riff there at the end.

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

I wonder how much I would save if I scrapped the toilet paper and converted to a deluxe Water-pick? #christmasshopping

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Crushing Allsup's burritos in my mouth hole while @bertkreischer makes love to my ears. Double penetration Sunday.

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Career Shits. PACKAGING & DIELINES: The Designer's Book of Packaging Dielines http://t.co/H7ZSE5V9rY #ClippedOnIssuu via @Issuu

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Remember, if you didn't do laundry and you're out of panties, you can always use my face.

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

If hogs could fly, I would no longer have to get on my knees. #coutryopenmic

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

I mean, summer sausage has to contain at least 5% human, right?

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

I'd like to congratulate Stevie Wonder on his new career as stage stylist for Chris Brown. #weakwardrobe #weakjoke

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

At 120 minutes, these football strikers have all the enthusiasm of a 90 year old's penis. #CRCvsGRE

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

@marcmaron The Bends is giving me the bends #lazyspinsunday

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

I have the haircut of a world class soccer player and the body of a third place competitive eater.

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

@sixtumble @KellyLaxson #cousinlarryappleton

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Forcing farts in my 30s is my Russian Roulette. #oneinthechamber

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

A pulled pork grilled cheese is probably not the best thing for a guy with a history of terrible hangovers and unpredictable bowels. #shart

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Nothing brings apartment neighbors together like a good ol' domestic violence dispute. #tiffanysquare #CrazyFromTheHeat

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

I'm on a new diet where I don't eat anything out of bags. Little concerned about where I'm gonna get my daily requirement of dicks.

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

The only thing I consume that is low in cholesterol is the toothpaste I accidentally swallow after every brush session. #chubs

[Chris Perez @TheDeathList]

Cinnamon rolls are edible Saturdays. #latenightsnacks