The Desi Report

Twitter's best desi satire. Probably.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

#TwitterIs Where the next Indo-Pak War will take place.

[Comrade Xill-e-Ilahi 🇵🇸 @XilleIlahi]

Haleem is boneless daal gosht.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Karachiites unsure of what to do with extra money saved from not having to pay extortion, therefore, #karachirejectsminusaltaf

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Report: Pakistan reportedly considering launching Chai With Arshad as a rival to Koffee With Karan. #ChaiWala

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Pakistanis take break from their torrented TV shows and pirated DVD's to tweet about how the PM is a thief. #MrDakuMustResign

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

India and Pakistan reportedly looking for a peaceful way to steal each other's actors and singers. #PeaceNotWar

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

India accuses Pakistan of being "Ivy League of terrorism", only manages to be a measly Little Ivy itself. #attackonindia

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Shaming your natural brown Desi skin color and wanting to be more gora. #Powerof7

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Pakistani's reportedly upset about India's human rights violations in Kashmir; take a break from killing Shias and Ahmedis to discuss.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Bollywood: Audiences choosing not to watch #BaarBaarDekho baar baar.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Developing Story: A record number of Desi people consider slaughtering politicians instead of goats for Eid.
#EidMubarak #Eid

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

REPORT: A record number of Indians take a break from their torrenting and pirated DVD's to tweet about #LooteriCongress.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

CRICKET: Pakistanis miss having high BP and mild cardiac arrest, reportedly want Afridi back just to feel alive again. #WeWantAfridiBack

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

BOLLYWOOD: Complaints pouring in that #Rustom is unrealistic. A quick Google search shows that Akshay Kumar wasn't even alive in 1959.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

@TheBanat Why is she even mad? Amitabh Bachchan is only famous because Abishek Bachchan is his son anyway.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

@AllIndiaBakchod Sakshi Malik - proving that flopping around the dirt like a moron isn't just for men. #SakshiMalik

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

@AisiTaisiDemo Pretty sure both hard drives corrupted after that.

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

@SandeepUnnithan I know right? Akshay Kumar wasn't even alive in 1959. #Rustom

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Be thankful for the freedom to pirate movies, drink chai, and harass women in public. #IndependenceDayIndia #IndependenceDayPakistan

[The Desi Report @TheDesiReport]

Report: A record number of Indians willing to let Britain take over again if they bring the Koh-i-Noor with them. #IndependenceDayIndia