Nationwide Duck

Just a good ol boy tweeting my good ol boy thoughts, which I like to call #Duckisms. Hope you enjoy.

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

@donald44444 hey there donald. always great to meet a fellow conuntry boy! hope you enjoy the tweets! #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Nighbors got sign that says "Come sit a spell." I just went over to sit & they run me off. Don't advertise if you ain't offering! #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Saw on TV the brightest stars are surrounded by the darkest space. I need dumber friends cause the same applies to intelligence. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Haven't heard from @SwampFoxSmith in a while. You dead, in jail, or hidin out, Smitty? #Duckisms #Swampisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine was a dumbass who clearly ain't never had none of granddaddy's whiskey! #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Wonder how many dumbasses have already broken their New Year's Resolutions? Judging by the drive thru at McDonald's A-FUCKIN-LOT! #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

@VGarafelo thanks for the retweet, Vince.

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

You ain't made a hard decision in life until your grandmother sends you a Facebook request. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

I'm working on a slogan for 2014. Maybe "Day by day," or "Treat people like people." Most likely I'll go with "Fuck it." #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

I don't do them resolution things. Nobody ever accomplishes that shit, so why try? #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Everybody says tomorrow means a new me and I get to start over. Does that mean my bills are payed and warrants are dropped? #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Well I'll be damned if I didn't miss Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Time flies when you ain't doing shit. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

If you got a guilty conscience just drink some whiskey. It'll rub it off. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

This is all just a big shit show. #GovernmentShutdown #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Moonshine is good. God is great. I say we all sip and partake. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Don't ride the short bus, it won't get you there any quicker. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Life ain't fair. Cheat. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

What the Obama-Tehran convo really went like:
"Fuck you, ya crazy terrorist!"
"Fuck you too, Mr. Tehran!"

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Some people say I'm about half a bubble off plump. That's probably fair. #Duckisms

[Nationwide Duck @TheDuckisms]

Church sure has come a long way since I was a kid. Now instead of slow pianos & organs, they're rocking out. #Duckisms