James Shagger McPake

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Hope someone's shat in Jobbie McCall's stocking

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Merry Christmas to all except Dougie Imrie

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Review of Friday: first half was a nonevent, second half we were doagshite and deserved to lose.

Conclusion: the moron United fan breaking the minute silence, a day after one of them called Hemmings a monkey on twitter, shows why they are hated by all good people.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Thatcher's in The Troll wearing a Ceres Arab top

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Whities: where shaggers converge.

Troll: where trolls converge.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Is the road between Dundee and Arbroath still flooded? Wouldn't want United fans missing out on their trip to the big city.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Celebrity Dundee fans:

Wagner - novelty pop sensation
Diego Maradona - football god
Isla Fisher - Hollywood megastar

Celebrity United fans:

Lorraine Kelly - tax dodging Tory boot
Naked Martin - old nonce who eats poo

Says it all.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Harsh on Ayr playing in Japan this morning then again in Scotland this afternoon

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Hemmings for England (against shite like Andorra/Liechtenstein/Scotland)

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

How's this for shite patter?

#pumped

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Dundee players after conceding yet another horrendously soft goal.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

If Declan Gallagher can serve time for nearly killing a guy with a bat, then get called up for Scotland, McPake can surely ragdoll a few dabs in a pub without any long term impact on his career.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Only player I'm worried about.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Skin not as thick as those luscious ginger locks it would seem.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

@Happydeefc @andycrichton6 One of these men has patter so terrible that he is ridiculed wherever he goes, and is all but finished in the profession he chose. The other is Timmy Mallet.

Eh @JimSpenceSport

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

Celebrity Dundee fans:

Wagner - novelty pop sensation
Diego Maradona - football god
Isla Fisher - Hollywood megastar

Celebrity United fans:

Lorraine Kelly - tax dodging Tory boot
Naked Martin - old nonce who eats poo

Says it all.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

@andycrichton6 @Happydeefc Can tell he's a Dab by his mutant fingers.

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

@BDKWorldTour Davie Mathews is a bottom feeder

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

@BDKWorldTour come home Davie Mathews

[James Shagger McPake @TheDundeeGaffer]

@DundeeFC Number of goals he'll score. Blindfolded.