Kaylee

I'll seize the day tomorrow.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

Weird that the people with HE>i on their cars are the same people that have issues with people defining pronouns.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

Haven’t really thought about many presidents today.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

Not knowing geography feels a little racist. Idk how to explain it.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

If god really wanted me to listen he would’ve sent a daughter.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

Trade Shows are gentrified Farmers’ Markets.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

How come I’ve never seen a baby crow?

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

I professionally tell people their opinions don’t matter by saying, “the deadline for input has passed.”

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

@mscjbee cc: my parents

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

My husband saying he’s “playing devil’s advocate” is the quickest way he will find out if the devil is real or not.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

I blocked Elon Musk, what’s going on with Twitter?

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

I’ve been out in the sun so long I’m about to breastfeed my babies cheese.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

Starting to feel like I’m the only person on earth that doesn’t care about Taylor Swift.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

@mscjbee Hahahahah 😂

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

I’ve yet to find a pair of jean shorts that doesn’t try to take my virginity.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

After one month of being a mother it’s safe to say, my tits will never be the same.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

Well well well if it isn’t another day.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

You’re really showing your age with that double space after every sentence.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

The closest I’ve come to prenatal yoga is attempting to shave my vag.

[Kaylee @TheFakeKaylee]

I’m 5’2. If I want a standing desk I’ll just stand up.