The Fat Jedi

Geek, Writer, Funny guy. (So I've been told) - I wear a lot of hats.

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Me: Do you think the care bear stare works underwater? Or is that a power reserved for the aquatic care bear cousins?

Oil Technician: Did you want a new air filter or not?

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Isn't cereal just the soup of breakfast foods?

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Me: Do you take trade ins?

Manager at Cemetery: 😳

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Bad TV show ideas 94: Undercover Ghost
"It's Beetlejuice meets Murder She Wrote"
Ok, that actually sounds kind of good.
#badtvshowideasthatareactuallygood

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Do you think Godzilla tastes like steak, seafood or both?

Car wash attendant: I'm not sure, but did you want to get an air freshener or the deluxe wash sir?

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Two word posts that aren't really two words 9:

Music Sheets - bedsheets that have music printed on them, or pages of music?
#twowordtweets

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

The machines at the Laundromat are really cautious about making sure nobody is hypnotized while using the toilet .

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

It is probably just me, but when you go to the Laundromat and use the change machine that gives you dollar coins, I feel like I'm at a casino where you always break even!

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Deleted scene from Superman III without context makes Supes into a baaaad man. But I loved Chris Reeve in the role!

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Me: I imagine that Cobra Commander must have offered great benefits to his employees. Seriously, they out number the Joes 40-1! How did he recruit so many?

@tacobell cashier: Were you going to place an order sir?

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Something to think about as we approach an election this year ...How do you like your apocalypse, Max, Ape, Zombie or Water? #vote

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

If you watch Superman (1978) backwards, it is about a superhero who has Benjamin Button disease and flies back to a newly formed planet. #Baclwardsboxoffice

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

If you watch Cats (2019) backwards, it still sucks. #Backwardsboxoffice

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

If you watch The princess Bride backwards, it is about a grandpa who reads his grandson a book, gets him sick and then leaves. #Backwardsboxoffice

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Movie pitch ideas 654: retelling of The Wizard of Oz (1939) from a random munchkin pov. Witch girl kills another witch landing a house on the woman and then leaves leaving Munchkinland without a strong, capable leader.

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

So the Twitter brand change to "X". Interesting... in the cyber world, if you want to close out of something or delete it, you hit the "X". Also, '89 Joker gave us a look at what happens when you use "brand X"...😅 #foodforthought

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Bad TV show ideas 929: "Doctopus" a medical drama that centers on a surgeon octopus and its relationships with the staff.

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

Bad ideas for fragrance names 23: "Dog sweat" - Tagline "In a world of odors, be the leader of the pack!"

[The Fat Jedi @TheFattestJedi]

I had a nightmare that Dwight Schrute was trying to kill me as part of a "game". I was the last survivor but I woke up as he was closing in...
Hope I don't owe @rainnwilson or NBC dream royalties for the appearance!