Darb

NovaScotianAdultMan

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

You wouldn't know it, but I spend a lot of my time in your shed.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

I’ve begun working on an important novel called, 𝘋𝘦𝘣’𝘴 𝘚𝘩𝘦𝘥. The story focuses on Deb going to her shed and looking at old tools and other belongings. 800 pages. No plot. No dialogue except for one moment when Deb grunts at a leaf blower.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

As soon as a novelist starts describing the curtains, I’m out. Reading is bullshit.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Fascist pedophiles and authoritarian regimes got you feeling down? Well, don’t give up hope just yet because Canada negotiated with China to lessen tariffs on canola seed! Everything is going to be ok. Picture Mark Carney dancing, soaked in canola oil. Never give up.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Education Update: I heard the following exchange between my students at my college:

“How are finals going?”
“Yo, bro, I’m fucked, bro.”

That’s poetry, Josh.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

You’ve got ears. I’ve got feet. Let me tell you about my foot issues.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

You got feet? I got ears. Tell me about your foot issues.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Teaching update: A student took a semi-concealed call right before my literature class to tell another student who was on the way that there was no pop quiz. It was like Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Teaching Update: April is when I usually start telling my students about my foot issues.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

@dee_of_e A classic.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Yoga has helped me accept your body.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Contemporary Literature: “The characters in my first novel are, like me, doing an MFA at a prestigious college. It’s about their trials and tribulations as they, like me, do an MFA at a prestigious college.”

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Teaching Update: What kind of a world do we live in when 17-18 year olds are showing little to no interest in odes?!

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

@eczema_moralia You still are.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Today on the subway, two young people in their 20s started singing together, and I said, "Don't fucking sing" louder than I meant to and they stopped singing and I felt bad and now the children are sad and music is dead.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

@eczema_moralia It's all too real, Peter.

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

Organize the class based on the size of the students' heads. Lecture on whether head size determines intelligence. Wait until the end to say it doesn't then whisper, "However, there is a small positive correlation." Explain the word "correlation" to the kid with the smallest head

[Effno Montreal @FNoMTL]

Hate it here!!

https://t.co/VSlCCmsjVy

[Darb @TheFuture5000]

@sm_osment It's in the stars.