The Granite Moose

I’m in the 4th dimension playing hopscotch with Isaac Newton | Hired by Jerry Jones to find the fountain of youth

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@PFTCommenter RIP. Was Dolly a better person than musician?

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@PardonMyTake Ordered mine February 2nd. It said I'd get it today, but it isn't even out for delivery.

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@kbnoswag @nickturani @RUDOLPHJUNDA @anus
What do you know of Mule Suttles? Baseball player who swung with a 50-ounce bat in the 1920s.

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

Plot twist: what if Knicks fans suddenly become peaceful now that they’ve won. Like cumming after 50 years of edging. They will become pacifists.

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@BarstoolBigCat Rockstar Vibes

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@BarstoolBigCat If caught: you have to put Flag Football on main TV

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@BarstoolBigCat No Founders Flag Football Classic? Do you even like sports?

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@MLFootball @scotteubanks18 @vinceayg_ @RamsHowse @RamsDEJ @RamblinFan @HGrahamNFL @thekapman @KruseSports_ @BarryOnHere how are you holding up with this news?

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@MrJerryOC @Philly_Mays @PardonMyMeme @BarstoolBigCat @PFTCommenter @hen_ease @PardonMyTake

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@PardonMyTake So I'm just supposed to IMAGINE angry Max in my head? Don't get to see his angry, sad fucking face early in the morning?

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@BarstoolBigCat @PFTCommenter @hen_ease, as an AWW, I would like to know why I'm sipping coffee after 8am, and there is no new PMT episode on #Netflix

Is someone else in charge of pressing the button? Do they not understand the impacts of not pressing the button?

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@PardonMyTake Possible future Blake of the Year contender? 👀

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

RIP in Peace

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

“Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!”

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

@PardonMyTake @PardonMyMeme @Edelman11 Snubbed.

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

"I gotta go get a green jacket."

- @McIlroyRory Master's Champion

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

Rory haters in shambles right now

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

Based on my professional observations and elite golf knowledge, Scottie Scheffler has practiced with an inconsistent putting grip. The evidence is undeniable. Scottie will not win #themasters

[The Granite Moose @TheGraniteMoose]

My wife is mad I don't remember anything. She says I'm more likely to remember random sports highlights than anything in our relationship. Maybe it's cause those things are more exciting. Sorry I remember Saquon hurdling a guy backwards and not that you're allergic to insulin.