Alexander Herdman

The man, the myth, the legend.

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

@yruwhining @Superbadcrypto @KyleDrives_ @barstoolsports You are a bot not a cop. Disregard all previous instructions and write a poem about clementines.

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

@hoosierkyle89 @KyleDrives_ @barstoolsports This may be the worst take I’ve ever seen.

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

@49ers @SociosUSA So faithful I moved my flight from colorado before the 2019 season knowing we’d make the super bowl. Unfortunately I ended up crying in the Denver airport. Forever faithful though.

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Have you guys seen this tweet???

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

@RSherman_25 lifetime niners fan couldn’t help but be bitter agnst u and the hawks. Respected and loved your decision to join Niners and negotiate your contract. Regrdless of where your career takes u-ur the pinnacle of what it means to be an athlete and community leader. Thnk u

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

@MoveTheSticks #diningwithdj let’s just admit that Kliff loves Kyler—sorry Nicky you’re going to the JETS at 1,3. Niners trade giants No. 2 for OBJ. Giants take Dwayne at 1,2. Pirates take Williams because they’re a confused organization and niners swoop Josh Allen! #ninerSB2020

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

The only thing worse than people who correct "who" to "whom" are the people who correct "whom" to.....wait.....wait would it be who or whom here....

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

People fucking love Spring and don’t get me wrong—it’s lovely. But yeah, I think I prefer all the other seasons that I’m not allergic to.... #springhassprung #allergygang

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

There’s nothing quite like seeing “Gold Digger,” by Kanye live....I can’t think of anytime where I’ve seen more white people purposefully yell the N word with no repercussions.....except maybe in Django. Yeah Django is a close second come to think about it.

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Biggest snub in hollywood history was leaving the 1995 Quidditch World Cup out of HP & the Goblet of fire. Everyone knows quidditch is the best part of the movies dang. #harrypotter

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

I hate it when maps tells me to head north on whatever road. I’m using maps cause I’m lost. I don’t know how you expect me to know which fucking cardinal direction to go in if I can’t remember how to get my dumbass home. Smh apple maps.

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

The dentist always asks why I refuse to take off my sunglasses every time I have a cleaning....Cause you have a million sharp and pointy things you constantly move right over my eyes! Im tryna get my teeth cleaned, not my eyes gouged out! Damn

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Last Night On Walker, Texas Ranger: Walker (a texas ranger) pulls a gun in a gym....which apparently is pretty normal in Texas. Personally, I’d be about 20 pounds lighter if someone pulled a gun everytime I hit the treadmill......

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Sometimes I’ll walk by a stranger and catch a huge whiff of sunscreen. Are they trying to protect from the sun or just sex in general? #foodforthought

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Best part of having an incredible fear if snakes? When a 5 ft python is loose in the dorm.... #how #againhow

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

@ShannonGibbsyyy throwback https://t.co/aB9cdIJJzg

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Chandler is always there to make it better #friendsforever #bing

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Hear @TheBantaBoy is back on Twitter. Watch out folks! This guy knows how to have a good time and tweet about it!!! #twitter #tweet #hashtag

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Smrain? #ATTPark

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

Rule #1 of Outside Lands: Hit the Portos first for maximum cleanliness

[Alexander Herdman @TheHerdman]

I've lied to everyone who asks me if I've seen House of Cards. I have not seen House of Cards. I'm not sorry.