Jake Collier

Stir the pot. I'd rather be a Shepherd than a sheep.

ig: thejakecollier

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

Idc who you are, The Mummy is a top 5 movie

[Jack Murphy @OscarFilmFC]

Me after surviving #TheBear Season 2, Episode 6… 😮‍💨🫠

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

My younger brother is moving back to Tennessee from Alaska and I'm so freaking pumped.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

Always remember the 7 P's. Prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

I've been messing around with ChatGPT and the future is bleak for we humans. This shit is gonna take everyone's jobs.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

Girls on dating apps be like, "I hate small talk, let's talk about something that appeals to my soul." How in the frick am I supposed to initiate after matching when I know absolutely nothing about you. Like "Hi, I'm Jake, what are three things that make you wanna kill yourself?"

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

I've gained a scar from 3 jobs in the last 4 years and here's the newest, gnarliest edition.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

@SchaftsArk You're a 10/10 in my book. <3

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

#NewProfilePic

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

Men should be complimented more. I swear I can ride on the high from one compliment for at least three weeks.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

Driving a U-Haul around with the windows down is a complete vibe.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

My version of intermittent fasting is eating a normal sized lunch and having three high-gravity sour beers for dinner

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

It's gonna be a good fookin' day man

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

Let's fucking goooooo

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

I sang Karaoke tonight for the first time in my life and I will consider this a major win.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

Someone stop me from buying Lululemon pants for work.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

My worst habit right now is sleeping 10 hours a night

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

@britabongwater It was so awkward hahaha.

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

When you accidentally use your gaming email to order online pickup

[Jake Collier @TheJakeCollier]

The vid finally got me. I've literally never felt worse from any sickness in my life.