Jamie Shap (she/they)

Actor | Writer | Broadway Licensing | Cancel Culture podcast | Director of Executive Witches | panicky

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

I just want to be famous and rich enough to deny NYU my alumni money.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

@Honda I got a 2023 Honda CRV in Feb, the screen will not stop glitching. Just found out my grandmother, who just got the same car, is having all the same issues. I took it to get serviced, they said nothing is wrong, I haven’t had an issue with my maps on any other car. Recall?

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Nobody with a soul patch should tell anyone else to do. Have some fucking common sense.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Haven’t sh*t in 3.5 days. About to take my drivers test. If I sh*t my pants while driving and don’t crash, do I get points added or deducted? @nysdmv

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Ok Slay, SLAY. @bigplay24slay

[(((Evan Shapiro))) @eshap]

LETS SLAY TODAY! @bigplay24slay @Eagles @TheJamieShap #FlyEaglesFly  #NYGvsPHI GO. GET. IT.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Someone should make the western stand-off-esque movie about trying to outlast the person in the bathroom stall next to you so they don’t hear you shit.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Someone just tried to recruit me for Bible study, I said I’m Jewish and full of Chinese food.
#MerryChristmas

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

@ToniMelhado6 Not Akon in the replies too

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

A part of me wonders if @NYHistory regrets inviting this many Jewish mothers into their building. Every schmuck in NY and all their mishpuchas, are sure to make the schlep to the Jewish Deli exhibit.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

The Jewish Deli exhibit @NYHistory was good, but it would’ve been better if it ended with me being handed a pickle and pastrami on rye.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Um @NickMarroletti where are you? I’m mostly in GA to see you, with a side of canvassing.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Just had Waffle House for the first time. Loved it. Not looking forward to how it manifests later, but worth it.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

There’s nothing more cosmically disappointing than being queer and having a crush on a cis, straight man. It’s like having a winning lottery ticket and instead of cashing it in, you jump in front of a bus.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

My parents talk a big game about wanting me to be happy, then my dad writes an erotic hellscape comic book… so they can continue paying for therapy this holiday season.

[(((Evan Shapiro))) @eshap]

“Described as Game of Thrones in Hell, the adult-rated graphic novel Darkland descends into violence, nudity & mature themes as Satan, Eve, Michael & Lucifer play a ‘game of thrones’ for control of Hell itself.”

@ComicBook @darkland_comic
@MacroverseHQ

https://t.co/7UbW1Vp8Hm

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

The teacher of this 5 hr driver’s Ed zoom class is fighting for his damn life. All the student cams are off and he pulling out accents, props, anecdotes and hand drawn examples. He’s speaking into the void. Shout out to this king.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Whoever wrote the #SpotifyWrapped categories deserves a Pulitzer.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Really humbling what one cup of coffee does to body.

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Tweet found in drafts:
Laura Dern’s hair

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

@NickMarroletti are you ready for an epic shapiro/marroletti reunion in Georgia?

[Jamie Shap (she/they) @TheJamieShap]

Go vote! Then come (hopefully) celebrate Wednesday nov 9th at Cancel Culture LIVE!
#Midterms2022 #Vote #liveshow #nycomedyfestival

[(((Evan Shapiro))) @eshap]

I’m making comedy, live, on stage, with @TheJamieShap @elaynagarner @kendallxpayne & @tylerjoe33.

At @TheAsylumNYC for @nycomedyfest

WEDNESDAY
https://t.co/h6qISTSuAQ