The Laughtist

Laughtist (n.): Sees Left, Right & the comedy in between.

सत्ता आपकी हो सकती है। सवाल सार्वजनिक हैं।

The cat? The original Laughtist, Unimpressed.

[Abhijit Iyer-Mitra @Iyervval]

LoL. Must’ve been hard up for money … what exactly happened on 23rd May 2017 ?

[The Hawk Eye @thehawkeyex]

I seriously doubt the mo of this feature. This will invite a lot of scammers. Isn't it peer to peer transfer globally without check? Let's assume I started a fake donation campaign for Free-Palestine. can i get money from across the world, without having any information of donors, without FCRA clearance?

What if someone starts a money laundering route at large scale?

@FinMinIndia needs to check sanity of such feature.

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

Welcome to Dhruv Tatee's fast-track court.

An entire crowd has been convicted of pretending.

ANI has been convicted of hiding the sound.

The star witness? A crossed-out speaker icon.

No witnesses questioned. No defence required.

The judge has already uploaded the verdict.

And tomorrow he'll teach India how propaganda works.

[Dhruv Rathee @dhruv_rathee]

Look at the crowd, there's zero enthusiasm on seeing his face

Everyone is just putting their hands up like they have been told to do so. Poor ANI even had to mute the video to hide the embarrassment 😂

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@dhruv_rathee Rathee has uncovered a shocking scandal: an organised roadshow had organisers.

Next exposé: At a birthday party, everyone sang together only after somebody shouted "three, two, one".

Clearly, this German shepherd has no real friends.

Another masterpiece of investigative journalism.

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@JaipurDialogues @JaipurDialogues got the judge’s name wrong. Also the gender. Also the court.

But they managed to get “Nehru” into the story.

So naturally, “Kuch Samjhe?”

@Sanjay_Dixit You still have time to delete this and stop with the embarrassment .

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@sagarikaghose saw the Election Commission file sixteen lakh appeals against voters the judges had already cleared, most of them in three days before the freeze, and immediately declared the election stolen and a crime against the Constitution.

Two Election Commissioners had written that they didn’t even know who authorised it. The tribunals later put most of the decided names back on the roll. The BJP still won by 127 seats.

She looked at a bulk administrative challenge that was still pending when the votes were counted, skipped the part where the majority of the heard cases were restored, ignored the size of the actual result, and decided the correct word was “crime.”

Didi spent years telling everyone else to wait for the facts now treats an unfinished tribunal queue as proof the election was already stolen.

[Sagarika Ghose @sagarikaghose]

More evidence of how the Bengal election was stolen. The @ECISVEEP filed urgent appeals against 16 lakh Bengal voters who had already been cleared for inclusion—within just three days, as the rolls froze. Why was Gyanesh Kumar in such a hurry to delete 16 lakh Bengal voters? Gyanesh Kumar and the EC have committed a CRIME against the people of India by snatching away constitutional rights . https://t.co/1PPqchtG3y

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

Some Bengal voters may genuinely have been wrongly excluded. They deserve a proper investigation.

Unfortunately, they've landed in Sagarika Ghose's crime thriller.

The criminal has been named. The verdict is out. This journo turned MP has announced the climax.

The actual voters are still standing outside, waiting to find out what happened to them.

@sagarikaghose Didi did not even give a speaking role to the affected in their own disappearance.

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

In every Indian family, two brothers can argue all morning and still sit together at dinner.

But let the RSS and BJP disagree once, and @pbhushan1 turns up with divorce papers.

Nobody asked him to handle the case. He has already started dividing the property.
Chacha regime change pe dhyan do

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@_sabanaqvi says Modi Govt. views rights-based protests with suspicion.

Kerala's ASHA workers asked a Left government for better pay. Senior CPI(M) leaders called their protest "politically motivated."

Apparently, the revolutionary right to protest comes with a small condition.

The warranty expires the moment a comrade gets the government bungalow.

[Saba Naqvi @_sabanaqvi]

Left at Centre? My column in @frontline_india https://t.co/CAYJ7IxCaX

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@INCIndia @INCIndia Your vegetable price chart seems incomplete.

Please add the 2013 UPA edition:

Onions: ₹100/kg.
Tomatoes: ₹80/kg.
Annual inflation: 9.4%.
And at the bottom, in small print:
“No magic wand available while in power.”

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@neha_aisa should open a placement cell for revolutionaries.

In Bangladesh, students helped topple a government. BNP got 209 seats, Jamaat got 68, and the student-led party got six.

The students did the revolution. The established parties got the jobs.

Even an Indian engineering college would be embarrassed by that placement record.

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

CJP wants to hold the entire Indian government accountable. Every claim verified. Every document examined. Every answer backed by proof.

Wah re, accountability ke thekedaar! First, let's inspect the inspectors.

Saurav Das and Ashutosh Ranka shared an AI-generated fake quote attributed to Gaurav Bhatia, then had to agree before the Delhi High Court to delete their posts.

Later, their proposed sureties couldn't even clear the magistrate's checks.

And after all the revolutionary speeches, both signed undertakings not to call protests at Jantar Mantar while restrictions remained.

Kranti full volume mein. Court mein terms and conditions apply.

Then enters Abhijeet Dipke, the intellectual powerhouse with a Boston University degree in Public Relations.

Unfortunately, Boston apparently doesn't teach you how to explain your own party's leadership without creating another PR problem.

Dipke had to clarify that calling Das and Ranka the real decision-makers wasn't an attempt to pass the responsibility to them.

Arre bhai, party hai ya passing-the-parcel competition?

Imagine these three turning up at a school demanding an audit of the principal.

One brings a fake quotation. The group's surety paperwork gets rejected. And the founder spends the entire assembly explaining who is actually the class monitor.

Teen mahaan gyaani. Accountability ka viva lene aaye, khud supplementary exam mein baith gaye.

These fellows want the government to explain every contradiction, produce every document and answer every uncomfortable question.

Absolutely. Start with your own report cards.

The real comedy isn't that CJP demands accountability.

It's that these gentlemen appear remarkably better at conducting the examination than surviving one.

CJP's unofficial motto:

Government se sawaal karo. Humse mat karo. Hum toh khud hi jawaab dhoond rahe hain.

@SauravDassss @abhijeet_dipke @AshutoshRanka @Cockroachisback

https://t.co/w92UcjxciY

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@desimojito They will release today - CJP Sampadak

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

Islamists read one book and spend the rest of their lives telling everyone else how to live.

One book completed. Eight billion people given homework.

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

If this trend reaches India, supermarkets should keep the cash locker inside the pork freezer.

Finally, a security system that doesn't need CCTV, guards or OTP. 😂
#FranceRiots

[Gabbar @GabbbarSingh]

I am glad CJP was formed.

CJP was a small dose virus which was injected in the Indian state to build immunity against a large scale regime change coup. It acted as a vaccine.

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@ashoswai Ashok Swain is a professor of Peace and Conflict Research.

He seems to have found the perfect division of labour.

Peace is his department.

Conflict is Delhi's homework.

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

Congress is waiting for Modi's political funeral like a relative waiting outside the hospital with property papers.

Someone should tell Rahul Gandhi that democracy doesn't have a next-of-kin policy.

[Congress @INCIndia]

मोदी सरकार की Expiry date आने वाली है

[The Laughtist @TheLaughtist]

@Iyervval If breaking things created wealth, every Paki cricket fan who smashed a TV after a defeat would be a successful entrepreneur by now.

We've been calling it anger management. France has upgraded it to economic policy.