the Bo

I got one whole heap o' pent-up anger an' frustrated rage just a-beggin' fer a few friendly faces ta frag!

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

With a sigh, Lobo points the starfighter towards planet Earth. He clicks on the radio.
"Let's go to the hop oh ba-"
"Frag me fer a bastich!"

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Lobo punches numbers into the console.
"Where are ya baby?"
*PING PING PING*
"Ugh. I gotta go back there?"

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

"Learn how ta drive ya fraggin geezers!"
The Legion of Decency Paramilitary SWAT Unit disappear behind the system's hot white star.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Lobo hits the gas.
"Ladies, full speed ahead!"
Winnie's armada crawls forward at a snail's pace. The ships shrink to a speck behind Lobo.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

The Main Man zigs and zags between starships, picking off smaller craft while dodging a maelstrom of missiles and lasers.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Lobo crashes through the cockpit and crushes the geriatric pilot into bits and blobs. He takes the gore-coated controls.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Lobo flies in the opposite direction as the missile crashes into a starship. He aims his body towards a small fighter.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

"I just got this new fraggin skin ya wrinkly old bastiches!"
A missile grazes Lobo's sepulchre black hair. He grabs its tail and spins.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Winnie rocks the ship wildly, freeing the vessel from Lobo's grip.
"Fire!"
The surrounding ships unleash hell on the last Czarnian.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

The sight of Lobo's other side kills Phyllis on the spot.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

As Lobo turns himself over and peers into the cockpit, Winnie barks orders.
"Hold fire! Don't approach!"
Lobo smiles, knocking on the glass.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Phyllis lets loose with an "oh dear" that vibrates the walls of the gaudily decorated starship. Knick-knacks fall to the floor.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

The salaciousness of it all kills Gladys on the spot.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

The force of the punch sends the Czarnian barreling downward towards a green ship. Lobo crashes ass first into the window of the cockpit.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Lobo swings a fist, bashing the cannons upward as they fire. The lasers incinerate a gunship above Lobo as the starship flips wildly.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

Lobo yawns and stretches. His eyes flutter open.
They focus down the twin barrels of an Argharft8600 laser cannon.
"Ya gotta be fraggin--"

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

"Oh dear!"
"Oh my!"
"Heaven's sake!"
"Lordy lordy!"
"Goodness gracious!"
The engines of the armada burst to life.

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

The names continue to rattle off as Winnie flips a switch on her walker. A visor slides down over her head.
"OK gals, pincer maneuver!"

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

"Dolores reporting in."
"Ethel here."
"Betsy reporting in."
"Florence standing by."
"Dottie reporting in."
"Olga standing by."

[the Bo @TheMainManLobo]

As Lobo snores silently in the vacuum of space, an armada coalesces around Winnie's tacky green starship. Inside, comms crackle to life.