The Noonday Onion

Sweet and local news—just like our onions.

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New evidence emerges about how we can bridge our fractured political landscape. #MAGA #trans #Midterms2022

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@AP It's a win for Truth and Science!

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@POTUS Wait, you're talking about gender like it's not a social construct. If biological males can qualify as "daughters" than the pay gap isn't real.

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@POTUS You can't have it both ways... either there are genders or there aren't. If you mean biological males and females when you say "daughters" ... then you can't determine that there is an actual pay gap.

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@Zuko_Fire32 @KingKRo0l @MysticTurtle13 @PopeTBlake @stackf3O @JeffD1016 @JohnFetterman Only crazies try to explain why Male isn't the same thing as Man. It's like trying to argue that Kleenex isn't the same thing as tissue. You can't change 3,000 years of language development and common meaning to fit your delusion.

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@starwars LARPing as human reproductive mates.

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@jakeshieldsajj No one deserves forgiveness.

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@AmenWokeJesus @NPR This could actually be the single most ignorant tweet I've ever read.

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@Alyssa_Milano Hmmm...along with escalating gun violence and murder rates, Christian church attendance keeps going down. Wonder if there's a correlation?

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@SenSchumer I made a more truthful image for you. We don't want to have misinformation out on twitter.

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@ABC Obviously it doesn't improve their mental health if they still identify as a biology that isn't their true biology

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@CrumblCookies Chocolate Chip cookies WITH SEMI-SWEET Chocolate! Get that milk chocolate out those cookies.

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@jen_rice_ I agree, using the word "Female" in an age that knows there is no such thing is pretty offensive.

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@joncoopertweets For real... and why can't they believe true things...like the fact that men can have babies!

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@NPR Also, Democrats are linked to Climate Change alarmism and have cost us TRILLIONS!

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@catturd2 So dumb. New we have climate alarmism AND vaccine alarmism. I guess the conservatives needed something fake to fear.

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@johncusack Those people WALKED from South America to the US border! I don't think a warm free bus ride to DC could be classified as cruelty.

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@DRJEnglish21 @Esqueer_ I follow this obscure ancient faith that urges humans to submit to God, and repent of our sins against Him, others and our own flesh. This faith urges me to (at the same time) acknowledge human evil, desire justice and consequences for said evil, and also forgive.

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@SenWarren @repblumenauer @POTUS So what are y'all going to do with illegal growers and sellers that don't abide by the regulations?

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@thehill Well, at least it's NOT linked to increased murder of innocent children.

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@CNBC Hahahahahaha. Looks like we need a War on Drugs II.