Stewart

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

@MelbourneFL Does Melbourne have a flag?

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

My laundry controls my life

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

The Humpty Dumpty poem does not say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg. Why tf is he an egg?

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

This guy doesn’t deserve the love of a pit bull https://t.co/RJFaYgUOZ1

[Kenneth M. Phillips @DogBiteLaw]

SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL THAT SAYS "DO NOT ADOPT A PIT BULL" - Share this to help show that pit bulls are too dangerous to adopt! #DoNotAdopt, #DangerousDogs, #DogBiteLaw, #Dogs, #BSL, #BanTheBreed

[Chase Bernstein @Chase__Chase]

can’t say i love the green in tri-colored pasta... perhaps a subtle navy? thanks

[Michael Gary Scott @TobyHater]

I made a resolution to floss. And I did it. 12:01, January 1st. BAM! Blood everywhere.

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

Sunsets on I-4 make me want to be a truck driver

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

You can also squeeze it gently and the sides will pop open allowing for even faster cooling https://t.co/fy2WAxLA0q

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

If you don’t tip 20% then you’re 20% asshole

[lb @lbrusselsprouts]

Like I want to move up north when I graduate but a world without Publix chocolate milk and Publix cookies and Publix chicken tender subs just seems so dark.

[Selena 🤠 @selena__salgado]

if heat rises then why is the north pole so cold ? 🤔

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

Is it weird for me to ask friends if I can walk their dog?

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

Zaxby’s is in its own league

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

You know it’s gonna be a good netflix original when the title sequence is 10 minutes long

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

*garggled a mouthful of ciroc on the way to prom* https://t.co/6TBVqDKDNl

[Stewart @TheOneStewart]

When I️ was a kid my mom sat me down for a serious talk and I️ thought I­t was the sex talk but she just told me all the facts about global warming

[Andy Wood @andytwood]

“We bought too much zoo.”