The Onion

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Congratulate igor morgolov on successfully relieving sexual tension in ROK at the dance @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Like stereotypically rudeIsraeli's, Israel doesn't cover mouth while coughing and gives Syria bubonic plague @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

North and South Korea! You need to stop fighting! Because your both Japanese @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Russian military opens brothels to raise morale of troops in Korea @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Best Korean flag's design reflects leadership... that of a third grader @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Puss filled milk gathered from Kim Jong Un's utter gives test subject super powers @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Happenings in The House causes long yawning session @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Kim Jong Un captured, Chinese scientist proves Kim is biologically most similar to a pig @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Armenia demands UNSC give them control of chemical weapons to open hot chemical baths to attract tourists @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Interracial action in Lewis and Clark expedition as Whitehouse gets some @cmuncwhitehouse http://t.co/bR4YoWlCW0

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Despite illicit activities the Nobel peace prize committee is still considering MLK @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

"foreign affairs has something for you, NYT" -Sophie Lui. The onion hopes its just a roll of quarters in his pocket. @presscorps1

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Cuban delegate in LEGAL promises all woman his caucus will be no shorter than twelve minutes @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

El universal corespondent desperately begs American officials for greencard @presscorps1

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

@TheOnion9 these Indians are also responsible for scalping foreign affairs reporter

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

South Korea is playing the scariest hide and seek game with North Korea since Ann Frank @presscore1 @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Spinal pains have become a serious issue in the ROK and representatives can't get the sticks out of their asses

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

The house gets interesting as talk of cyber security turns to cyborgs @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

Foreign affairs reporter captured and scalped by native Americans # staygoldenponyboy @cmuncwhitehouse

[The Onion @TheOnion9]

The only thing more pathetic than a 9% approval rating in the House are c-span's ratings @presscore1