The Plumpy Duc

I'm so fly I'm a flight risk - Osama Bin Laden

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Teacher: you need to take accountability for your actions
Duc: sorry, my counting ability isn't that gud

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Went to a doctor and he diagnosed me with motion sickness.
He's a real one for that 🔥🔥

[Rowlet 🇵🇸 @Angery_Rowlet]

Call me a bakery, the way this bread be piling up

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

I just took an aids test and the doctor is telling me to think positive!!!?

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

@CultOfQuack_ You must be a Kogan 5500 Lumens FHD Wi-Fi M900, the way you're projecting

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Remember kids, don't bee🐝 positive for Duck Hepatitis

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

@CultOfQuack_ Yes, and lets just say its not something to bee positive about🐝

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

My homie asked me why I keep bred over my ears.
Because if it ain't about that bred I don't wanna hear about it

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Duck's Daily Divination #inspirational 🤑💰💰

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

I hate the term 'superiority complex' because its not complex

I'm simply better

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

>Buys purebred dog
>Looks inside
>No bred

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Accounting teacher: How have things been lately?
Me:

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

@GoodReddit Kanye westerner

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

I hate my accounting teacher 😤 😡

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Quick question. Let's say hypothetically I am being hunted down by the CIA for alleged😏 credit card fraud. How would I go about leaving the country?
Also if you could pls send your credit card details (for separate reasons) it would be very much appreciated

Oh and quack quack

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

@ProphetofHonks

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

If the situation in Ukraine gets any worse, I might have to intervene 🔫🦆

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

When therapists or pyschologists take advantage take of vulnerable people they are praised for it.
But when I do it I'm a criminal. Life is so unfair😥

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Employers always ask me to disclose my disability status. Like yeah, I got a disability.

Dis ability to get that bred 🍞🍞

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Every second you are not running i am getting closer

[The Plumpy Duc @ThePlumpyDuc]

Every second you are not running he is getting closer