KohlFurley

spikeball team captain

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Girls be complaining aw boohoo Im stuck in the talking stage with this guy. Consider yourself lucky! the toddler I’m talking to rn is still in the sensorimotor stage. No object permanence yet so always happy to see me but cries every time when I disappear during peakaboo #clingy

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

your honor are u being fr rn

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Sad and half chubbed up rn if anyone even cares

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

gun to your head do it squirt

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Take me down to platypus city
Where the beavers go quack and sense prey with electricity

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

alcohol

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

unc stroke sesh live, beating it to 07 megan fox

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Closeted gay Obama: let me be queer

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Bagel Obama: let me have schmear

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette, or to learn how to juggle eggs

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Movie where Dwayne Johnson plays a gay twink called Rock Bottom

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Can I bring myself to spend 5 minutes to do the thing that is a hard requirement for my entire future (send like two emails) or will I just think about it all day and maybe do it tomorrow

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

ever since I was a little boy I dreamed of being unemployed

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Once a year I rewatch the John Cena prank call video with the understanding that if I dont laugh then there is no joy left for me in this world and I can finally end it

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Mr.C and brothers I must respectfully recline zZzZZzz 😴 💤

All in favor say Honk Shoo mimimimimiii

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Goodbye sweet Twitterverse

😔✌️

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Everyone gave me shit for “owning the libs” but now woke is back and everyone wants to buy ??Fuck off I’m not selling any of my libs to you guys

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Closing 309 tabs and being embarrassed at the person I was 4 days ago

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

Is dat a fuhcken Yankee candle? Durin da fuckin playohfs ?? ? Whadahellas matta wit you let’s go Mets baby

[KohlFurley @TheRealCNation]

heplp I keep eating melatonin but it’s only making me hornier . If I ever get to see the sandman I’m going to fuck him