Him: how do you want it?
Me: Preferably rough and kinda hard, hair pulling and ass smacking is highly encouraged!
H: I meant what do you want in your coffee?
M: Oohh, just a little cream and sugar please
My Sister: this is why we never take you out in public
back at work from a long break and there's so much work to do I didn't even know where to start, so I just stared out the window and scrolled Twitter for the past hour
It's gonna be a long year🙄
Oh, god. Oh sweet, sweet fucking Lucifer. Just woke up to discover that a bunch of horny spirits ravaged me in my sleep. Those sick fucking bastards pumped me full of demon sperm and now I gotta shove a crystal up my rectum and take a pregnancy test to check for COVID-45.