TheRealJPL2

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

@bcsmith23 @MLB @MLBPA @MLS @NFL @NBAOfficial @premierleague Any good mayor would know how to fix this issue.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

@UberFacts Pong

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Looking forward to waking up Xmas morning and finding bags of Snickers under the tree. A large dildo would be great as well.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

@salgovernale Which family did he bring?

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

@cwotd can I buy you a new pair of jeans? Big fan. I have the means to afford this. It would make a great story for my friends. Let me know.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Thinking about nude modeling to bring home a paycheck. #onlyfortheboys

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Anyone got a job for me? #wasonasinkingship

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

If I opened a bagel place I'd call it DOUCHE BAG-EL.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Who's got the keys to my Beemer? #doucheconversioncomplete

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Has anyone seen my putter? I checked my ass but it's not there.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

I'm beyond ungrateful to all my friends.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

I hope people don't think I am Daffy since I walk like a duck. #IWalkLikeADuck

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

I hope I am tall enough to ride the Disney rides.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Heading to Disney with my Target Princess!!

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Breakfast is free before 8:15. Guess I'm not eating.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Some guy in a shower used to copy everything I said.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Watching HGTV while I wait for my little Target monkey to get home.

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

Eventually it will just be me and JG working here. #nevergonnaquit

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

#redandtanforever

[TheRealJPL2 @TheRealJPL2]

I'm a slut trapped in a fat body.