Machismo Hammington the 3rd

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@Aku_700 Only ten years?! IDGAF is hat number offense of his this is, this is savagery we do not need to tolerate in our society. Lock him up and throw away the key!

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@AmeliaRemigrate It's been said already but if you'd done 18-22, it would be in the lead by a mile. It is the prime age range for marriage.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@safewordsorg Auto racing makes me smile. Especially if I'm at the racetrack.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@tanpukunokami You, collective "you" rather than you specifically, voted for politicians who weren't paying attention to the mistakes of the West.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@prolifefrenchie I am not against Trump because I can read and comprehend what I'm reading at the same time.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@SteveLovesAmmo I was given some advice once, "intruders are *always* armed. Always." It was said with a wink.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@tanpukunokami My understanding of how Japanese politics works is clearly inaccurate because I thought non Japanese couldn't hold public office.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@RadioGenoa Motive unclear *eyeroll*

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@piersmorgan Was the curry worth it? Of course it was. So long as it wasn't happening to people you knew, you were fine dismissing the crimes being done to hundreds of thousands of your fellow citizens by Islam. You are part of the problem. Fuck all the way off

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

Root beer floats are awesome.

[NyanChuu🔮🇯🇵🍭 @tanpukunokami]

The Root Beer Float Identity Crisis

An American friend said,

“You have to try a root beer float.”

I heard the words.

Root.

Beer.

Float.

This was already three problems in one sentence.

Root sounds like medicine.

Beer sounds like alcohol.

Float sounds like something that failed to sink.

Then the glass arrived.

Dark brown soda.

Vanilla ice cream on top.

Foam everywhere.

A straw.

A spoon.

Both weapons.

I stared at them.

If something needs a spoon and a straw, it is not food.

It is a custody battle.

I smelled it.

My brain immediately opened a meeting.

Candy?

Medicine?

Toothpaste?

An antique shop?

Why does this drink smell like a grandfather’s cabinet learned how to sparkle?

I asked,

“Is this beer?”

My friend said,

“No.”

“Is it medicine?”

“No.”

“Is it dessert?”

“Kind of.”

Kind of.

The most suspicious answer in American cuisine.

I used the straw first.

Cold.

Sweet.

Carbonated.

Confusing.

My mouth said soda.

My nose said pharmacy.

My childhood memories said, “We have never been here before.”

Then I used the spoon.

Ice cream.

Foam.

Root beer.

Now the dessert was drinking the drink.

The drink was melting the dessert.

Everyone at the table acted like this was not a public food identity crisis.

A kid nearby finished one calmly.

That scared me.

American children are trained early to accept chaos in a glass.

By the third sip, I stopped trying to understand.

By the fifth spoonful, I was defending it.

“That smell is actually… interesting.”

This is how America wins.

First you are confused.

Then you are sticky.

Then you are loyal.

Root beer float is not a drink.

It is not dessert.

It is a cold civil war between soda and ice cream, supervised by bubbles.

And somehow, I lost to it.

NyanChuu will no longer mock food that cannot choose a category.

If America hands me cake soup next, I will not panic.

I will simply ask,

“Does it come with a spoon, a straw, or emotional damage?”

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@EmilySm43 His wife. Full stop. If you are a Christian "a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife, the two are one flesh." If you aren't, you chose your wife. Her thoughts should matter more to you than anyone else's. You aren't building a family/life with your mom.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@Notwokenow Because the smart people over there died between 1914 and 1945. Some say the collective Euro intelligence level may never recover.

[The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial]

Happy Father’s Day to all of the dads who go the extra mile.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@prolifefrenchie Ah yes, because expanding voting rights to every adult has worked wonderfully for the West hasn't it.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@AmeliaRemigrate

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@tanpukunokami Not giving a damn what people, especially people who aren't your friends, they are think of you is so freeing. Stand tall. Speak out in favor of and defend your home. Don't let Japan make the mistakes of the West.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@Im_Mattx I have *kids*. Why wouldn't I couch co-op with them?

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@Halo Still have to be online to play on any system. Don't care. Pre order is already canceled, I'll buy it used from my local second hand game store (not gamestop) when they get a copy. "But cross progresssion" yeah huh, local save data has been a thing for decades.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

@Neccccy C. No. They need to be arrested, tried, convicted and then put to a bacon greased sword wielded by a woman. No 72 virgins for them. Just their version of Hell.

[Machismo Hammington the 3rd @TheRealMachoHam]

I condemn Islam and its demonic "prophet", piss be upon him. I condemn its imams, who support rape and murder of non adherents. Islam, Sharia Law, the Quran has no place in civilized society. It is a "religion" of death for the vicious, the cruel, and the stupid.