Calamari Cannibal

Not addicted to meth

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

I have a pair of cheap red sneakers that are perfect for dancing and sometimes I imagine I'm cool and spin around in empty grocery isles.

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

@genesbygenghis "it looks like I'm wiping my butt" "technically you are"

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

@bethanyzero my supervisor made me stay 30 minutes over and I just snapped. I have slept and I'm okay now.

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

Sorry for the rant but I tried for an hour and a half to calm down and I couldn't lol

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

I'm glad everyone knows you pooped yourself two weeks ago

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

And you fucking wonder why everyone lies to you and undermines you. When I was in your same position last spring, my authority wasn't worthy

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

"This is one of those cases where it's okay to stalk because it doesn't involve us" @genesbygenghis

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

@bethanyzero I started buying HotHands to put in my waistband because they're cheaper but careful if they fall a little it looks like a dick

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

They have a good stair-climber and the weight room is set up well but the lockers are shit and the pool is chlorine and not salt

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

The YMCA is shit anyway.

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

In the sauna this old man said "the best thing Byrd did was join the KKK." My dad looks up waiting for the punchline and there is none lol

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

A teen boy went up to another guy and asked if he was racist, and he said yeah! Started chatting about "supremacist stuff" according to dad

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

My dad said he's seen racism at the YMCA lately

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

I just finally figured out how to turn off the "In Case You Missed It" bullshit that twitter thought was a good idea. Fuck you, asshole

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

Shew, I'm glad no one is on twitter at 9am. And if you were, well, just know that I know how awful I am and I apologize

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

Welp, there you have it, some way too personal facts.

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE AT 40

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

@bethanyzero I hope you get rest soon. Take a bath if you can't sleep. Use the good bubbles 'cause it's worth it.

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

@bethanyzero we need to hunt you some local friends somehow. throw a net on their heads!

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

When you feel a big ol emotional load coming on and it tears the asshole of your heart on its way out

[Calamari Cannibal @TheRealSydSquid]

I have chips to eat so there is no worry. Everyone leaves food out and I come along like a raccoon to consume.