Toby Smith

Rocket scientist in training, Cal Poly SLO

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

@OfficialTASER Proud to be on the team.

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

(ง'̀-'́)ง Aly

Might punch you, but has a soft spot for plants.

@emotimug

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Together for six years, and in six months we’ll be married.

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

@MattelGames Your ‘Common Threads’ game is broken. The top two cards have two things in common, while the bottom two have nothing in common. There are more examples of this as well. Any plans on fixing this or releasing a fixed version?

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

sometimes bright green cars look like driveable jellybeans send tweet

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

@britxkneex Fun fact, due to the tilt of our axis Astrology is actually off by a few months. So if you don’t like what it says just go one up or one down

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

@TheSassPrincess Undecided but leaning towards power rangers

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

I just want you guys to know that my funeral is a costume party and I expect everyone to dress up, myself included

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Today I found out there’s an International Nickel Study Group (INSG) and suddenly my life isn’t boring at all

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

The question then becomes, is Fiona a cannibal? We know she was eating people, but was she human? Her form was originally human, but she eventually permanently becomes ogre. Is love’s true form her true form as well? Either way, her manipulations are unquestionably unethical

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Fiona is a murderer WAKE UP AMERICA

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Listen, Fiona is the villain of Shrek. What did she eat in that tower? The only answer is human flesh. She explodes a bird and eats its children. Listen. She’s immune to snake venom. She tries to ditch Donkey. Listen

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

She baits Shrek into friendship and stabs him in the back. Where did she even learn martial arts? She had to have befriended the dragon, it’s her only means of survival, meaning she’s manipulating every knight who storms that castle as well as her future friends and husband

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Traitor Joe’s show me dark produce

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Imagine slicing a pizza with a band saw

[someBODY ONCE TOLDME @saltnbecker]

Life is too short to NOT stop and pet that dog

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Someone once told me they were from Tucson and my immediate reaction was to say “wow, I’m sorry” and I’ve felt bad about it since, but... I wasn’t exactly wrong...

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

And I just think that ‘holy cow’ is just about one of the whitest things you could say

[Toby Smith @TheRealTobywan]

Koepka sounds more like an evil comic book corporation than a professional golfer

[tess @7tsspt]

had an elaborate dream last night about editing a shared Google doc