Trader Joe

Im just here to say stupid things that i probably wont say in real life

[em @girlfr0g]

got they asses

[Trader Joe @TheReal_PPl]

How are the cops on Tiger King still employed? Theres so many crimes being commited and nobody has a lead on any of them (other than the hitman crime)

[Northwest Cee @CeeHawk]

buddy I know "bake on 400 for 12 minutes" when I see it

[Trader Joe @TheReal_PPl]

@CashApp $LimP

[ʟʀʀʀ ʀʊʟɛʀ օʄ օʍɨƈʀօռ քɛʀֆɛɨ 8 ಠ_ಠ @babyperson_Lexx]

This quarantine has really upped some of y'all's creativity 😭

[Eugene Gu, MD @eugenegu]

The H1N1 swine flu pandemic that infected up to 1.4 billion people and killed up to 575,000 originated in factory farmed pigs in the United States. Yet nobody ever calls it the “American Pig Flu.” Let’s stop calling the coronavirus the “Chinese Virus.” We’re all in this together.

[Tristan @TristanGHill]

Crazy that they're hiding this from the mass public ...

[Rule 24.5 No Crying at the Pynk @itsjustkey_]

😂😂😂 my friend at the end was super drunk 😂😂

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

[Wayne @Toaster_Pastry]

I attended a Zoom meeting of doctors who, as a subculture, is not used to technology (we are the "Reply All" crowd), nor understands the "MUTE" function. Some guy in the middle of the meeting says, "This guy's a fucking idiot." And that ended the meeting.

[Lydia Hill🍃 @lydiakahill]

me and me dad are sharing the dining room table working from home today. He's an aerospace engineer on a conference call ordering fuselage prototypes and I'm drawing a duck

[Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia]

So weird a guy ate a bat halfway across the world and now I can’t go to the gym.

[Trader Joe @TheReal_PPl]

Couple weeks ago it was a “hoax”

[The Hill @thehill]

President Trump: "If we do a really good job, we'll not only hold the death down to a level that is not only much lower than the other way had we not done a good job, but people are talking about July, August something like that so it could be right in that period of time."

[Marshall Mathers @Eminem]

Sorry guys... Marshall Law: not a thing.

[Matt Stoller @matthewstoller]

We're all democratic socialists in a pandemic...

[GL @gldivittorio]

Ladies and gentlemen, your new national anthem:

[Liam Hackett MBE @LiamHALI]

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

[Trader Joe @TheReal_PPl]

“What set you rep”

[Daily Mail @DailyMail]

Hundreds of hungry monkeys swarm across Thai street as 'rival gangs' fight over food after tourists who normally feed them stay away because of coronavirus https://t.co/lQZ0sOzwDF