Rick Swanson

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

You can tell a lot about a person based on what their favorite Nickelback song is and whether or not they realize it’s a trick question.

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@TheMegavitamin @stephbrown @amandacb22 @KatieRustBrown @ARachelRoss Not Penny’s boat. WE HAVE TO GO BACK

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

Astronauts report that Chuck Todd’s boner was visible from the ISS on Inauguration Day.

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

#capitolmobsowhite

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

I want these Hyundai ads under the ball to go away. #NYE #Hello2021

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@stephbrown hey is Greek your favorite show?

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@SmittyBarstool you ever spent any time at the hojos in Norwich ny?

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@heyyybrother Also, these are the monsters who left their objectively most adorable child at home. So yes, monsters. They should have left Buzz instead. And for the record, I would watch the heck out of that retelling.

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@heyyybrother Nothing but a bunch of answering machines!

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@AaronBoone is the guy that skips every song after 30 seconds #ALCS

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@blakestilwell Also interesting is how American Idol premiered around 14 years before (almost) half of the country began to idolize the president.

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@kristine_stone Cold Little Heart WAS the season 1 theme song.

To learn more about the life of a broken camel toy follow me on Instagram.

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

Thank you, Allison Jones Casting, for putting Marianne Williamson on all of our radars. Please let her become a series regular.

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

I’m voting for Marianne Williamson because every time she talks I feel like I’m having an acid trip #DemocraticDebate2020

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

I am deeply suspicious of a session IPA

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

The older I get, the more I cross my legs like an actor on a talk show

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

Guys we’re all older than Taylor Hicks was when he won American Idol wtf is happening

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

You think you all fancy shit with your phones robots and computers, but I found a vending machine that don’t spit your dollar back out

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

@ShawnRyanTV @OKBJGM Hey Shawn I’m a freak who likes breaking story and fitting in stupid jokes. I’m not bad at either. #WGAStaffingBoost

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

The hardest part about having kids is not drinking all of their amoxicillin

[Rick Swanson @TheRickSwanson]

We, as a society, spend far too much time thinking about the hot dog buns scene from Father of the Bride.