Rob Cee

Future fossil.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Best songs that order composers to do things:

1. Rock Me Amadeus
2. Roll Over Beethoven
3. Make Me a Sandwich Brahms
4. Eat a Dick Vivaldi

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Prove to me Katt Williams is not a mason. You can't.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Pitching a Love Boat spin-off called Sex Barge.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

*three witches stirring a cauldron behind Arby's*

SWEATER WEATHER,
BEEF AND CHEDDAR...

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

I like to think of myself as the Hulk Hogan of not being racist.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

What makes twisted tea so "twisted," anyway? Does it organize cockfights? Practice incest? Manufacture chemical weapons? I demand answers.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Celebrating the 4th anniversary of my kidney stone today -- objectively, the worst thing that has ever happened on September 11th.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Your honor, that's not very jiggy of you.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Relationship goals:

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

I believe calories don't count when the temperature is over 90 degrees.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Ernest Denies The Holocaust

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

@JustinWhang Look at the charisma just rocketing off of Dory!

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Got a tarot reading and I got the "freshly-decapitated white guy who looks a lot like me" card, but the reader said that's not always bad.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

I was considering becoming a vegetarian, but I don't think I'd be able to eat fish and chips EVERY night.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

*Doc Brown, covered in blood, finishes shoving a flux capacitor up Mando's ass*

Marty McFly: Doc, you built a time machine... out of a Mandalorian?

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Tom Cruise movies are so unrealistic. You never see him struggling to reach something on a high shelf.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

It's not so much that I avoid conflict, I just lose the argument before it happens.

[Eliza Bayne @ElizaBayne]

Probably the worst part of going to jail would be having to make a phone call

[Good Kyle @KyleMcDowell86]

"Can I get a 6 piece nuggets?"
"We're out of 6 piece boxes. Would u like a 10 piece for the same price?"
*I do The Carlton so fucking hard*

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Before they settled on Emerald, The Wizard of Oz was going to reside in Blood Diamond City.

[Rob Cee @TheRobCee]

Clinton will admit that yes, he’s been to Pedophile Island — but only after getting shipwrecked on what was supposed to be a three-hour tour.