Dave the Robot

Nice try, fed.

[Frank @frankinsensible]

Fondly remembering the time I got blocked by a dictionary.

[Catturd ™ @catturd2]

I don't care what her excuse is - Nobody in history has deserved the death penalty more.

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

Defended by the left:

Michael Brown
George Floyd
Luigi Mangione
Tyler Robinson
Lindsay Clancy
Mao Zedong
Che Guevera
Lucifer*
Cain*
Moloch*
King Herod*
Judas Iscariot*

(*probably)

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

This man is a treasure.

Well... one of these men...

not the weaker one.

[RAW EGG NATIONALIST @Babygravy9]

Maybe if her mother has post-partum depression?

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

Short story:

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

On Monday at 9:04 a.m., a woman in Accounting emailed the entire company by mistake. Four thousand people. The subject was: "Printer paper."

At 9:07, a man replied all: "I think this was sent to everyone."

At 9:11, a woman replied all: "Please remove me from this thread."

By 9:30, sixty people had replied all to say "stop replying all." Each one of them replying all. The thread was now about the thread. The thread had become self-aware.

At 9:41, IT sent an email explaining how not to reply all. They sent it to everyone. People replied all to thank them.

I did not reply. I am new here, and I wanted to live.

But I watched. Forty floors of highly paid professionals, defeated before lunch by a button older than most of us.

At 10:15, the thread ended the way it had to end. A man in Legal named Gerald wrote: "Team, I think we're good on printer paper for now. Have a great week."

The thread stopped. Four thousand people exhaled. Gerald did not panic, did not scold, did not send twice. He closed the gate like a man who had done it before.

I asked the woman at the next desk who Gerald was.

"He's the one who stops it," she said. "There's always one. Last year it was a woman named Priya. Nobody elects them. They just know."

I have thought about this every day since.

This company has a CEO, a board, and a five-year plan.

And then it has Gerald.

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

@BeardedBlevins Strangest prelude to a GoFundMe ever

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

@thecavedaddy @TheCriticalDri2 “I’m the bad guy?”

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

This is the apex of human art

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

Whoa. Time flew

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

Her acting range is wide and vast

[Heel vs Babyface @heelvsbabyface]

Look at this fucking legend of a post.

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

😳😳😳

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

@Nerdrotics The real Gollum is the friends we made along the way

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

https://t.co/5wTjIkNKpo

@adamcarolla Why don't Andrew and @DawsAngeles use Grok?

It took 8 seconds to get the answer to the Minivan question, citing multiple news outlets as sources. All 3 were Haitian.

[Dave the Robot @TheRobotDave]

@xraygirl_ Nothing like it. I miss all of the food, but I think of the egg sandwiches the most.