Mike Vaynerchuk

Living life one Banquet Beer at a time. Board of Directors of Silicon Valley. Official Talent Scout (U8 Southwest) for The University of Alabama. Roll Tide!

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

So proud of my bitcoin investment team and they're trip to Dubai!!!! Another 6.2M Series A round raised from The Saudi Group. #garyveeinspiresme

[Doug Stanhope @DougStanhope]

Tonight I'm hitting the "Is It Seals & Croft or England Dan & John Ford Coley?" New Years Trivia Bash from 6:15 - 7pm. Ticket is 8 dollars and includes a butterscotch schnapps and peanut-free Chex mix.

Thinking of going stag but hit me.

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

@vuhustlersports Dude that’s like saying - “hey man I know you’re upset your mom died but we have some string cheese in the fridge.” Appreciate the effort and work though boys
-Heartbroken Vandy Grad 2014 who was fooled into thinking Jenkins was a star and then fell in love with DG - a real stud

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

(To the Beatles "I want You")

I want dudes

I want dudes so baaad

I want dooooooooods

I want dudes so baaaaad it's driving me mad it's driving me mad

(RIPS OFF PANTS FOR THE CRESHENDO)

I WAAAANT DUUUUUDES!!!!!

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

Me wit my new Vape

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

@RothenbergESPN @ChrisCanty99 @HDumpty39 Easy Solution. Move the fences back to around 500 ft. Hell 700 ft. Much less homers and two more outfielders. TELL ME IM WRONG!!

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

Anybody got an extra seat for "Hanson plays Pink Floyd's The Wall?

I have the Hallucinogenics. HOOK ME UP!!!

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

@luisjgomez Would you watch Zac have sex with Kim for $100,000? If so, how much of the pot would you cut her in for doing the deed?

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

My man @ErikRydholm must have had a couple ayahuasca trips before producing High Noon. This music shit is out of control.

(He's just ripped on X sweating in the studio bouncing up and down to these takes and shitty ass up tempo beat)

https://t.co/zhfbldK3w4

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

Lavar Postel was real as hell

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

This is the weather info on the phone of either a traveling salesman or a degenerate NFL gambler

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

My dude be faking seizures just to get high https://t.co/z7BZ3XHIXG

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

Just had the last kill in a fortnite game for my team of 20.

It was my...

"And they pass it back to... Goldberg??

YEAHHH GOLDBERG!!""

(Yes I know it's clear through this I am not employed)

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

(Sixers bring back Hinkie)

(Hinkie steps in that Locker room like Maeve in Shogun world.)

(Starts murmuring and shit)

Embiid and Simmons turn and break each other's legs.

Hinkie: Let the process begin - again

(REDDICK stabs himself)

https://t.co/jKhjjIxB0h

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

(Dude with scars in his neck from injecting Alpha Brain goes to mic at the gym and puts on "Pork & Beans")

- Sweet guitar riff

- AHHHH

THEY SAY I NEED SOME ROGAN TO PUT IN MY HEAD

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

Behind every great artist is their unknown amazing song writer.

Except the fucking Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

They appear to be written by a shock jock from the Dakotas who loves to "riff." (Rhyming non existent words)

KIP PIP SKIP a little beaddleebiddle

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

@john_b_crowe @JasonHButt @PFTCommenter @BarstoolBigCat When is Ass Eating Season Brother. I'm ready to come over and eat the hell out of your asshole?

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

Five years back I saw one of those ads for old soul music that I haven't been able to find

Last night I took a xanax and found it - the 70's soul special led by Little Anthony of "Little Anthony and the Imperials"

God is real - and he comes in the form of a lispy soul hero

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

I was called Fat, a Born Again Virgin, was told that I have a micropenis - and called a kike on a soccer field.

And I never fucked my brother

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

I call this, "The Problem with Apu"

[Mike Vaynerchuk @TheRohseph]

Are you supposed to feel a heartbeat in your asshole?