Noel Robinson

Aspiring writer and comedian. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go finish scrambling my eggs using this 12-inch ruler... as a spatula.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Fuck you

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Not that i WATCH The Voice, but that Jonathon guy looks like a dildo.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Hey shampoo commercials, would it kill you to show a LITTLE tit.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

what?

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

My mom calls what she holds her money in a billfold, even though it doesnt literally fold bills, like my wallet does. Mind f***.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Good bye Michigan. I wont be missing your grey skies, tiny population, or how you call soda, pop. Assholes.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Hey movie theatres, when is the last time you ever had to use those extra concession stands past the ones by the main entrance?

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Is Christmas finally over? Can we all go back to being nice?

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Road trips... where corn, cows and the occasional road head can often be seen.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Hey Starbucks. When i say large, you know exactly what i mean. If i wanted a 'venti' I'd call any girl in my phone and just listen.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

#Igetsoangry when girls don't put the seat up.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Thanks "Life Alert" for keeping a million children and grand children from acquiring their inheritance.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

I've been sitting here snapping my fingers while stairing at this Slim Jim, yet I can't seem to get into it =/

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

I display empty liquor bottles on my shelf because I'm obsessed with trash. Idiots.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Wow @BMorhiser, you're an angry sober. I can't deal with you when you come home, every night, not drunk.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

Naps: The best excuse to masterbate, ever. "No wonder Noel is always exhausted."

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

So my phone is running out of battery, yet it decides to waste energy by beeping AND vibrating to remind me. Fuck.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

#ChristmasInWashington D.C. is a lot more rewarding 10 miles out of the city. You know, where the people who make money live.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

#PeopleThatAngerMe know who they are.

[Noel Robinson @TheSecondNoel]

I wish I had #OneMoreChance to pull out.