John Lamont

Borders politician with a secret. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Ashamed to admit which party I'm in. Not shy of insulting my constituents.
PARODY

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

I should really start pricing up property in London.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

Westminster here I come! Nothing can stop me now, not even being a rape apologist & victim blamed.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

Like I said #peanuts #monkeys https://t.co/Gvdcq3SXke

[LJC @jedi_mummy]

No expense spared by Borders Tory MSP... #paul4erb #BothVotesSNP https://t.co/qFtAU7gGtG

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

Also noticed that people have said my expenses are much greater than @PaulWheelhouse & others. I say is if you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

I've noticed some Nat supporter trying to shame me on FB. Doesn't he know I AM the @ScotTories party.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

@JennyChapman @Emily_Benn if the cap fits. You can come & join us in the Conservatives, you don't even have to tell anyone.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

@ShellyAsquith @PiersTelemacque @UKLabour and Stan Collymore joined @theSNP after watching Labour MPs betray them.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

Having a good giggle at Naughty @NatalieMcGarry's expense. Remember, it ain't a crime if you don't get caught. So says Erik Everlast. 🤘🏻

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

This week I'll be having surgeries in Kelso & Jedburgh. Welcome to everyone. Except scruffy oiks. That means almost everyone in Jethart.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

FFS @RuthDavidsonMSP ruined my campaign leaflet by mentioning @ScotTories at least 3 times in her message. Fucking big gobbed Soutars

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

In case you missed it I've got a new campaign leaflet out, completely free of @ScotTories branding to avoid embarrassment....wait! WTF?

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls of all ages. After a Summer of glad handing & buttering up the plebs I'm back.

[Wings Over Scotland @WingsScotland]

"Shame on the people who have used the pretext of anti-terrorism to perpetrate abhorrent acts like this." https://t.co/RrIqveuMdE

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

@epocalypse @MrMalky yes but that error will be corrected this winter when the Holyrood campaign season begins in earnest.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

Going to persuade Dave to insist on a repeal of hunting laws in Scotland in exchange for more powers. That'll set the fox among the hounds.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

@voomonster @LEAHBOSS999 LOL not much use when we leave the EU first.

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

Met a bloody malingerer today. On DLA after 36 yrs as an engineer in Hawick factories. #lifestylechoice

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

@voomonster @LEAHBOSS999 but the UK Supreme Court has the power to strike down any Scots laws. I'm investing in razorwire for the camps. 🇬🇧

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

@voomonster @DerekHCampbell @LEAHBOSS999 @Bri4nWLawson @GregorSharp pretty good. Once we get rid of your pesky human rights things'll be gr8

[John Lamont @TheSecretTory]

If only Labour would accept that they're not socialists anymore then I could represent them and win them this seat.