The Shallot

The latest breaking sports news.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“Curt Schilling has an unmatched ability to be a piece of shit”, according to anyone who’s ever met him, and everyone who hasn’t met him.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

"There's just not enough evidence out there for this punishment"

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

After the announcement of their recent engagement, Jordon Hudson has been secretly reaching out to heads of major corporations, such as Depend and Cialis, to sponsor the nuptials to Bill Belichick.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“Honestly, good for us. We should be getting just as much praise as the companies who never used the ingredients in the first place. But no, we’re still the bad guys.”

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“If the NFL won’t draft him, I will.” Says president Donald Trump after the Colorado QB has gone undrafted through the first 3 rounds of the NFL draft. “He’s a stupendous talent and would make one heck of a soldier.”

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

In a strange twist, Shedeur Sanders demands a trade from the team that will eventually draft him, for passing him by multiple times, per reports.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

New Bill Belichick @UNCFootball action figure is now available

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

Bill Belichick to a 2 star recruit guards toilet

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“It’s nice to see Bill staying active in retirement by playing with the youngster” says one close to the Belichick camp. “Including her in his commercials and scouting trips will be really transformative for her developmental years”

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

While Luka’s camp is denying the allegations, the medical community confirms the mechanism is indeed for checking insulin levels in diabetic patients. More to come when it becomes available.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“Is that so much to ask?” Asks a curious Kevin Durant ahead of todays 3pm trade deadline

[Ben Handler @KingChuddy]

Instant(ish) reaction as I’m still trying to process this…

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

A list of all black Head Coaches, OC’s and DC’s in Dallas Cowboy 65 year history:

- Brian Stewart, DC 07-08
- Maurice Carthon, OC 03-04

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“Once Diddy’s house went up, it almost immediately jumped to the neighbors, but as long as Diddy’s house gone, job done in my eyes.”

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

@Schultz_Report https://t.co/vqvxYqP7XY

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“Excuse me, you there! Black man across the way! May I ask you a few questions?” Yells a hurried Robert Kraft while he frantically hires his next white head coach.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

“Excuse me, you there! Black man across the way! May I ask you a few questions?” Yells a hurried Robert Kraft while he frantically hires his next white head coach.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

How things really went down in New England this past weekend:

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

@DougKyed Cheap owners get what they deserve

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@JayThePatsFan The Bears are to QB as the Pats are to WR

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

Patriots ownership thinks letter to fans will soothe things over for hiring HC with zero experience without conducting a proper search.

[The Shallot @TheShallotTimes]

Bill Belichick wastes no time at UNC, making his 24 year old girlfriend head Cheerleader at the institution.