Emily

27|☼♊︎ ☾♒︎ ↑♎︎||she/they|| I just wanna be treated like a chef treats a clove of garlic

[Emily @TheShySnail]

What if we...? went on a date... on my animal crossing island ahaha 🥺👉👈

[Pogman @JanPogman2]

They're recalling things that have never been recalled before

[Pyramid Chad @pyrameadhead]

This is like being a meth head and asking someone who's never done meth how they're going to get through their day without meth

[Christopher Webb @cwebbonline]

Dead or alive, Mitch McConnell is on extended medical leave — on your dime.

This is the same Mitch McConnell who voted against: paid family and medical leave for everyone else.

[Maine @TheMaineWonk]

Fun Fact: Mitch McConnell has taken more medical leave in 2026 than most mothers in America get for Maternity Leave.

You’re not angry enough.

[You Know Who @MuskTillDawn]

Posting like this while defunding the forest and national park service is such bullshit, man

[Caroline Orr Bueno, Ph.D @RVAwonk]

“In the end the Party would announce that two and two made five, and you would have to believe it.” -George Orwell, 1984.

[Emily @TheShySnail]

Chicken Nuggets

[𝔉𝔢𝔩𝔲𝔪 @felumgothswag]

boobs to your mouth name a fruit

[beetle moses @beetlemoses]

At chili’s

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

the concept of a feeling based on fact

[Jill Gutowitz @jillboard]

why is a fly landing on you so embarrassing. like ok, i’m poo……

[❦ @wthemoons]

this fandom cannot be real

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

i saw mommy kissing santa clause now they're going to bed n my stomach is sick n it's all in my head but she's touching his chest now

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

MAGAZINER: How many veterans have you deported?

NOEM: We haven't deported veterans

MAGAZINER: We are now joined on Zoom by a combat veteran you deported to Korea

[Damien Haas @DamienHaas]

PSA to all pet owners: get pet insurance.

Last night, my dear cat Zelda needed emergency surgery. It cost an unbelievable amount of money. But I could agree to it without hesitation because I’ll get 90% of it back. It’ll make up for every payment I’ve ever made and way more.

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Texas has approved a constitutional amendment that requires US citizenship to vote in the state.

US citizenship is already required to register to vote in Texas.

[Versace Hottie @evilrashida]

Life sucks but at least cilantro doesn’t taste like soap to me

[🫀yaoipilled kai🎸 @jellopussy]

"the youth just don't want to work"

[Ava Flava @avatocloo]

Drank some water and the scratchy feeling in my throat didn’t go away…