The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale

Threat Level Zero.

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

When I die, I hope that I get a cool post-credits scene.

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

#10yearchallenge

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

Some days, life is a fart sandwich. Luckily for me right now I’m still working my way through the bread.

[Tig Notaro @TigNotaro]

I wish I had the optimism of that sign in airplane bathrooms asking you to clean the sink for the next passenger.

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

Vocals: Anneke van Giersbergen
Guitar: Mikael Åkerfeldt
Bass: Steve DiGiorgio
Keyboards: Jon Lord
Drums: Dennis Chambers

[ʜᴇɴɴɪɴɢ @ItsMeHenning]

Music Challenge #4: Who would be in your dream 5-piece super group? Living or not. Any instruments.

Format example:
Drums: Ringo Starr (Beatles)
Bass: Tina Weymouth (Heads)
Guitar: Peter Buck (R.E.M.)
Keys: Rowlph (Muppets)
Vocals: Harry Nilsson

Idea inspired by @Frank_Branda

[Eliza Skinner @elizaskinner]

I’m a comedian. I am often sarcastic as are most of my colleagues. Yet any time I see someone describe their entire personality as “sarcastic” I treat them like a box of wasps and lit matches. We assume you shit regularly, but your bio shouldn’t be “I TAKE SHITS! EVERY DAY!!!”

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

@PeripheryBand @mishaperiphery @MarkPeriphery came up with a new word: DjentRiffication. It’s all yours if you want it.

[chloë☔️ @chloeevansj]

Don’t call your husband/wife your “partner in crime” unless you’ve disposed of a body together

[chloë☔️ @chloeevansj]

Me when I see another headline about a kardashian or a jenner

[Ted Barton @TedBartonComedy]

Airport Interior Designer: [Crosses arms] hm. nope. Needs more sadness.

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

so I guess that’s a “no” on Louis C.K. hosting the Oscars

[NickHolmesPL @NickHolmesPL]

Happy 2019!

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

still not done watching that black mirror bandersnatch episode and Jesus christ how long is this fucken thing

[chloë☔️ @chloeevansj]

Sure, 1991 all the way through 2018 has been a rough patch for me but I just know 2019 is gonna be good

[Sarah Everett @goddammitsarah]

2019 is the year I start caring more about hating you all

[Evan J'daté Kessler @EvanJKessler]

About to take my first shower of 2019. This is going to be a great year for showers.

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

@ViciousVRod Adorably horrifying.

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

@chloeevansj

[chloë☔️ @chloeevansj]

I was on America Says, and it airs tonight 🌟 on Game Show Network at 9pm EST/8pm CST

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

I’m going to call this tweet “ADDERALLCAPS”.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE HATERS AND THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA! 2019 WILL BE A FANTASTIC YEAR FOR THOSE NOT SUFFERING FROM TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME. JUST CALM DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE, GREAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING FOR OUR COUNTRY!

[The Skeleton Milk Boxing Day Sale @TheSkeletonMilk]

Tori Amos - Raining Blood