Not Conor Mortimer

Be Sexy. Be Supermort.

*Parody Account*

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Anything my followers would like to know? I'l give you my thoughts and opinions #superinterested #supermort

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Anybody else getting texts from Ben Brosnan? I think he has a thing for me. Not my type, even if he does look like a woman.

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Did anyone miss me? Got the hair looking fresh and the manicure out of the way. I'm back for the Championship baby! #MAYOFORSAM2012

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Christ, Linda Martin was giving Sinead O'Connor some abuse the last day. Some people have some nerve.

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

just hanging around outside a teenage disco waiting for it to finish. ive the mayo jersey on in case they dont recognise me #glorydays

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

@conmort who do you think you are pretending your. If your willy is more than two inches you are obviously not me ....booom

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

hear ye hear ye, i suck balls

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

i meant with regard to ladies as opposed to their front bottoms. long time since i seen 1 of them

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Not playng inter county causes a drought on the lady front.

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Boom!! im back tweeps. sorry for the delay, i was suffering from a terrible cock-strain. too much rubbin.

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Does anyone know how to get the tags off the back of your thongs without ripping them? There so tickly on my crack but ive ruined 3 already

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Weather promised bad for the weekend, the sally hansen will be a big risk but i live life on the edge. #streakylegs #streakyrashers

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Dont heed tweets from @conmort hes a fake with nothing better to do #notworthtalkingabout but #imjustaftertalkingabout it #loser

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

and at least if i dont get lucky ill have fresh breath when im having a posh one when i come home!! #allplannedout #wishmeluck

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Hear ye Hear ye @thesupermort is a #sexybastard. headin out on the town tonight, packet of blue extra and a packet of durex extra safe

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

just after ordering a HD mirror from ebay. Cant wait for it to arrive, When it comes so will I #sexybastard

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

@mark_ronaldson Dont worry ill throw @RuthieMCullen the hairy eye on sunday, ill make sure shes sitting down in case her knees go #swoon

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

@RobHennelly hey u were lookin well on sunday but youll have to go brunette again when im back, you no i need all the attention #sexybastard

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Does anyone know where I would get camomile lotion? The "boys" are a bit itchy after a hectic weekend #whowasshe #ictchyballs

[Not Conor Mortimer @TheSupermort]

Sammy Lee has left Liverpool. King Kenny must be a bit of an asshole. #lfc #bringbackroyevans #janmolbystits