TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

Bill Cosby @WetJeansPod Go

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

“Sorry mom we’re not gonna make dinner tn mambo no. 5 just came on and we’re getting shwasted.” #mambo5 #HudsonsYYC #songslaps

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

Wet Tommy’s @WetJeansPod

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

Can we get our prostate exam at your place or is your mom home.

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

No we’re not inviting fat bitches back here - josh patrician

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

If you go in a hot tub and say you don’t pee, your a fucking liar! - Jacob Carr

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

Automatic #beer #darts #guysbeingdudes

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

You don’t need a license to shoot the shit at earls

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

White people on Instagram be like “new number text me”

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

For the longest time I used to think areola was the thing that was on the end of your shoelace.

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

Hello #BEER

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

My insurance is absolutely thru the roof rn cause every time I see a hot girl driving I rear end them so they have to exchange information with me #worksmarternotharder

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

You can literally go to stampede and ask 100 girls to come home with you and 2 will say yes but 0 will cum. #stampede #notcanceled

[TheTweetLifeOfZak&Payton @TheTweetLifeOf1]

I just got a chill, in my plums