The Visual Nurse

@thevisualnurse on Instagram

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

Nobody:
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Online login security question options:
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1. What was the name of your pharmacology instructor’s middle child’s favorite childhood stuffed animal
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2. What was your third grade teacher’s favorite color
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3. What is your favorite smell

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

*I don’t care if you won employee of the YEAR*
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Mgr: See me when you have a minute pls
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Me: Sure let me just find a box and update my resume real quick

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

Them: So what do you do like, CrossFit, HIIT, Peloton, do you lift for volume? Focus on axial load lifts?

Me: Na, I’m just trying to keep the mind and coronaries clean. As long as it’s fun and sustainable, idc.

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

Manager: You have some outstanding education.

Me: Oh, thank you!

Mgr: No like, your annual competencies are past due...

Me: ...

Mgr: Just get them done.

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

The average pacemaker battery lasts over 8 years and my phone hits “low power mode” at 5pm??

“But lives LITERALLY could not exist without one of these”...

... yes and I’m telling you the screen dims on it at Five. P. M.

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

Lol some of you really would rather do a 14-point turn in the hospital garage just to avoid front-in parking.

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

*Unlocks phone to lookup some obscure med* - 0830

Brain: Oh look, a notification.
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1147 - Why did I open my phone...?

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

*Verifying pt history*

Me: Do you..

Patient: Nope.

Me: ...have any medication

Patient: Nope.

Me: ...allergies that you’re aware of?

Patient: Oh yeah penicillin.

[The Visual Nurse @TheVisualNurse]

*Starting an IV*

Patient: Are you any good?

Me: Well I was but you just jinxed us both.